Tomb Raider a crackpot cinematic outing
The world does not need such a tired reboot of the Lara Croft franchise
TOMB RAIDER ★ 1/2 outof5
Cast: Alicia Vikander, Daniel Wu, Walton Goggins Director: Roar Uthaug Duration: 1h59m
With a mélange of elements from National Treasure, The Da Vinci Code and Robinson Crusoe, and bits of Bond, Bourne and Batman, not to mention the last Tomb Raider go-round, nothing about this reboot feels remotely fresh. Give it a whip and you could call it Indiana Gumbo and the Jambalaya of Action Clichés. Of course, the one novelty is the new star, Alicia Vikander, making her full-on actionhero debut after flirting with the idea in 2016’s Jason Bourne and 2015’s The Man From U.N.C.L.E. She sells her portrayal of adventurer Lara Croft, and makes you feel every bit of pain she experiences — some of it in the action sequences, but most of it from being in this movie in the first place. She’s so much better than it is, and the only real reason to watch. Indeed, the only time Vikander’s stoic façade fades is when a look of exasperation crosses her face. Even she can’t believe some of the things going on in this crackpot cinematic outing, which feels like it might have been made 15 years ago. Ah, but that era already belonged to Angelina Jolie, who starred in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider in 2001, its $275 million at the box office setting a new record for a female-led movie and proving for all time that audiences would pay to see such things. (Alas, the 2003 sequel made only $157 million, proving for all time that audiences would never again pay to see such things.)
When we first meet Croft 2.0, she’s working out in a boxing ring, her fancy footwork causing her exasperated coach to yell: “Stop bouncing; start fighting!” (A line I read as a subtle rebuke to her more topheavy predecessor.) Not sufficiently worn out by that, she then puts in a shift as a bicycle courier and, as an encore, competes in a pedal-powered race through the streets of London.
But fear not: There are tombs to be raided, starting with the empty mausoleum of her missing-and-presumed-dead father (Dominic West). Before departing on his final mission of mysterious exploration seven years earlier, Lord Croft left there a trail of clues for his daughter, starting with the old “If you’re watching this, I’m dead” video. She dutifully follows them to Hong Kong harbour, where she hires a stalwart captain (Daniel Wu) to ferry her to an uncharted but remarkably huge island. Where an even bigger tomb awaits. Audiences should settle in at this point, because they’ll be spending the rest of the film’s two hours marooned on this island, as Croft faces off against an evil explorer (Walton Goggins) and his small army of henchmen. They’ve come to the island to crack an ancient Japanese ruler’s tomb, which is fortified with everything ever faced by that other raider (of the Lost Ark and the Holy Grail) short of a giant rolling rock. Honestly, if you had Sean Connery there, muttering about how only the penitent man shall pass, you’d be through in no time. There’s so much cribbing from other sources that I thought the trio of writers — Geneva Robertson-Dworet, Alastair Siddons and Evan Daugherty — were madeup names, but the internet assures me they’re real. So too is director Roar Uthaug, a Norwegian who made a great low-budget disaster movie in 2015, called The Wave. Coincidentally, you can also describe Tomb Raider with the terms “budget,” “low,” “great” and “disaster.” You’ll just need a few extra words.