LIGHTS, CAMERA AND ... AWKWARD
Sens owner’s latest public-relations stunt has to be seen to be believed
It was about this time last year when the Ottawa Senators announced they would cover about 1,500 seats in their arena with tarps as a novel solution to the problem of selling them to patrons.
I think they are going to need bigger tarps.
With the Sens at a low ebb in their public-relations history, the team released a video late Monday night that really has to be seen to be believed. That is if you can manage to make it through all five minutes 47 seconds without covering your face for the sheer awkwardness of it. I was more comfortable watching the Blair Witch Project.
It’s an interview, sort of, between Senators defenceman Mark Borowiecki and the team’s owner Eugene Melnyk. Borowiecki, bless his poor heart, starts off with the delivery of someone in a hostage video by asking Melnyk, “What’s the plan here?” Melnyk, 30 seconds later, says, “Right now, we’re kind of in the dumpster.” An inauspicious beginning.
Melnyk goes on to say he doesn’t think the team will be as bad as many think, but is also kicking off a youth movement. You know how some managers are loath to say “rebuild” because they fear fans will tune out once they know a team isn’t serious about winning ? Melnyk is not one of those managers. He says rebuild a lot in six minutes. Wearing a Senators jersey and sitting comfortably in an armchair like this production is the most natural thing in the world, Melnyk says many puzzling things. He notes people have speculated about whether he might move the team, then waves it away. “The franchise is not going anywhere. That’s, like, totally solid.”
Gosh, where could this relocation talk possibly have come from? Oh yes, from Melnyk’s comments last winter, when he groused that he would never sell the team and he would move it if attendance problems at Canadian Tire Centre continued to worsen. The video also has a noticeable cut right after Melnyk’s comments about staying in Ottawa, which makes one wonder what he said that didn’t make the final edit: “When I say we are going to be here, Mark, I don’t mean me and you. You’re totally getting traded.”
The owner goes on to explain the Senators, this coming season, will have 10 of 22 players who will be rookies or close to it. He predicts the roster will have 15 or 16 such players in the 2020 season. Leaving aside the question of whether general manager Pierre Dorion could even build a roster with that many entry-level players given the NHL’s salary floor, it’s a signal the Senators are willing to swap anyone with present-day NHL value for picks and prospects. Mark Stone, Matt Duchene, Bobby Ryan and very much Erik Karlsson. Somehow, Melnyk also claims the Sens are in a good place now because of their veteran leadership, while also explaining they are going to completely turn over the roster in the next two years. It is important to note the apparent purpose of this video is to sell Senators fans on the greatness of the team’s rebuild scheme. “We are about to launch an exciting plan to rebuild our team,” says the text accompanying the video on social media, which includes the inevitable #OttawaRising hashtag. “How’s the dressing room?” says Melnyk.
“You know what? That’s one of those questions that I was going to ask you, too,” says Borowiecki. He was going to ask Melnyk about the dressing room? Was he going to ask whether they could get new carpet in there?
I’m going to make a bold claim here that the dressing room is not all that great. The team traded forward Mike Hoffman because he could no longer be on the same team as Karlsson, who also seems destined to be packaged off for kids and lottery tickets. Starting goaltender Craig Anderson asked for a trade in the summer and he might as well have asked Dorion for a unicorn. He’s 37, owed US$9.5 million over the next two seasons and had a save percentage last year that was the lowest of any No. 1 goalie. Borowiecki, ever the good soldier, tells Melnyk the players on the roster “need to find a way to jell.” He also says “we need some help with that.” He mentions bringing in outside resources, which sounds a lot like a plea. Melnyk barrels along about how great it will be to have all these young prospects. “We’re loaded up with draft picks now,” he says, which is a weird thing to say about a team that does not have a firstround pick next year. They do have an extra seventh-rounder in 2019. Feel the excitement! This is a team that made the conference final two seasons ago. The owner is now merrily talking about selling off the remaining valuable pieces for scraps. Near the merciful end of this exercise, Melnyk says: “I really think the fans are going to be supportive.” Give the man points for optimism, I guess.