‘Courageous’ teen with cancer planned her own funeral
Alyssa Fader-tsiamagas wanted to plan her own funeral after she learned the leg amputation and open-heart surgery she endured with a positive and “spicy” attitude this year would not save her life.
The 14-year-old Windsor girl who died Wednesday following an eight-month battle with osteosarcoma, a form of bone cancer, chose a purple casket covered in designs she created. Visitors to the funeral home Saturday might hear music from her favourite bands — 21 Pilots, Waterparks and Backstreet Boys — in the playlist she put together for the occasion.
“To me, she was the most beautiful thing in the world from the day she was born, right to the day she passed,” Kevin Fader, Alyssa’s grandfather, said Friday. “She was always bright. If I talked to her, she made me feel good.”
Alyssa, a graduate of Assumption College Catholic Middle School, started chemotherapy immediately after her cancer diagnosis in April. In June, she travelled to Toronto Sickkids for a rotation plasty, a procedure where the cancer-affected bone (in Alyssa’s case, the area around her knee) is removed and the remaining limb below is rotated and reattached.
Surgeons discovered Alyssa’s cancer had spread higher in her left leg than anticipated and removed more of it. But the disease had already entered the limb’s main vein.
“She was very courageous,” said Lisa Marentette, Alyssa’s mom. “She wasn’t one to complain. She would even smile for a picture so everyone would think everything was OK.”
Alyssa underwent a second surgery to strengthen her heart in October, with the goal of preparing her for another round of chemotherapy. Those surgeons found tumours where they expected to see blood clots.
When the family was struggling to tell Alyssa her illness was terminal, it was Alyssa who started the conversation.
“Instead of getting down and depressed and bummed out she said, ‘Can I plan my own funeral?’ She kind of got excited,” Fader said. “It might be odd, but it sure made things easier on us that she wasn’t so upset.
“That’s the kind of girl she was. She was selfless. She cares about other people.”
Marentette said her daughter loved being a member of the local army cadet corps and spending time outdoors. She volunteered at Royal Canadian Legion pasta dinners. On the side of her purple casket, Alyssa requested images of the cast of her favourite television show, Stranger Things, and the 2715 Cadet Corps logo.
During her treatment, Alyssa’s friends and family rallied their support and called themselves Alyssa’s Army.
Tammy Fazekas, one of Alyssa’s aunts, said Alyssa was grateful for the love she felt from the community. “I don’t think she could ever express how much that meant to her,” Fazekas said.
In advance of Alyssa’s hair falling out from chemotherapy, the teen had it dyed bright pink and purple, Fazekas said. “She wasn’t afraid to be herself,” Fazekas said. “She showed that outgoing quirkiness in her personality.”
Visitation will take place at Windsor Chapel South Chapel, 3048 Dougall Ave. on Saturday from 2 to 5 p.m. and from 7 p.m. until the time of her celebration of life at 8 p.m. Cremation will follow.
Alyssa requested guests wear their Alyssa’s Army T-shirts or the colour purple.