A LOT OF PUNCH FOR A NON-BMW
The tank-like sport-brute feels way faster than it should be as a large, luxury SUV
What looks like a BMW, wears the BMW flying propeller logo proudly on its hood and, at least in this case, is assembled in a BMW factory alongside other BMWS — but isn't a BMW? Is that a riddle? Most assuredly so, though perhaps not an especially good one. An enigma? Actually, it's not that, either, because if you've followed German luxury cars at all, you've heard about Alpina and the special relationship it has with BMW.
The XB7 is a normal BMW X7 barely disguised. Oh, there's some way-cool thin-spoke wheels, a new grille and a prominent Alpina badge adorning the lower fascia. It's even built in BMW'S Spartanburg assembly plant in South Carolina and, in Canada, sold through BMW dealerships with a full BMW warranty. Nonetheless, in at least in most jurisdictions, it's legally not a BMW.
Here in North America, where the XB7 will find most of its customers, the big sport-brute is assembled in the U.S., but its engine and suspension bits are shipped directly from Alpina's production facility and are assembled by Alpina-certified technicians on BMW'S production line. The question you probably should be asking yourself is, why all this automaking convolution? Why go through all these contortions just to make what is surely a limited run of high-performance X7s, especially since BMW'S own tuning house — the M Division — is far more famous and one has to believe, more lucrative for BMW?
Well, it seems that in its quest for sporting authenticity, there are some cars the M Division feels should not wear its badging. They do not, the company hedges, fit the profile of full-zoot, sporty-to-the-hilt transport.
So, if you look through BMW'S lineup, you will find most of its coupes and sedans have received the go-faster treatment, but not the top-of-the-line 7 Series sedan — hence, the Alpina B7.
Likewise, there is no M version of X7. And even if it seems like the most awkward of plausible deniabilities, BMW really is going to these lengths just so it can say there is no M version of its largest sport-brute.
And yet, the XB7 is an X7 M in everything but name. For one thing, its monstrously powerful 4.4-litre V8 sports two larger twin-scroll turbocharger, upgraded intercooling and a custom exhaust system. It all adds up to what sounds to me like a very M-like 612 horsepower. That's some 77 horses more than the M50i version of the X7 that sits atop the BMW lineup. Officially, Alpina says the XB7 scoots from zero to 100 km/ h in 4.2 seconds. It feels faster.
Way faster!
Indeed, this is the scalded cat of large, luxury SUVS, the throttle response immediate and perhaps just a little frightening for something the company — both BMW and Alpina — insist is a
gentleman's express. The XB7 may weigh a truck-like 2,663 kilograms, but its performance is more than a little super-ish.
But on this day and on this racetrack — Mosport's tight and twisty Driver Development Track — hardly needed. Following a more traditionally sporty M340i piloted by the far-morecompetent-than-myself Robin Buck — longtime race car driver and recent inductee into the Canadian Motorsport Hall of Fame — I never needed once to full throttle, my supposedly tank-like XB7 glued to the rear of the normally lithe M340i. Buck's little sedan might fling into corners with greater ease, but its front end would start squirming long before XB7 exhibited even the tiniest of twitch. The XB7, believe it or not, could produce more grip, generate more cornering Gs, and hold a tighter line than the M340i.
And that was on a wet track. Things got even easier when the rain clouds drifted off, the big XB7 gaining speed while the little sedan started seriously pushing its front end. Despite being shod by some sticky, low profile Pirelli P Zero tires, the littler BMW started squealing in protest long before the big sport-ute.
More impressively, most sporty SUVS in search of sedan-like handling have had to compensate for their high centre of gravity with rock-hard suspension. Not the XB7. In fact, the Alpina has a surprisingly plush ride. There's a little more roll than an X5 M or an AMG'D Mercedes GLE 63, but it doesn't seem to compromise handling.
The XB7 just arrived in dealerships this fall and will set you back $165,900. That, by the way, is probably more than what an X7 M would cost — if only BMW built one.