Hot & Cool
Our global reputation for politeness and poutine aside, Canadians have another trait to be proud of – our sex appeal. Leanne Delap reports
Canadians have reason to be proud of our sex appeal
FOR PROOF THAT we Canadians are hot and always have been, I point to the seminal sex scene in the 1973 thriller Don’t Look Now. The ravenous intensity that Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland bring to the act of making love burns a hole clear through the celluloid. The scene drew ire and censorship upon its release. Many speculated they were not “acting” and that the coupling was “real.” The controversy was reignited with a 2011 tellall book claiming it was. Sutherland, ever the gentleman from Saint John, N.B., dismissed the claim simply as “mendacious.”
Of course, a single Canadian can’t carry the reputation for the rest of us on his handsome shoulders, but there are plenty of other exhibit A’s in the hot Canadians category. Red swimsuits will never be the same since Ladysmith, B.C.’s Pam Anderson jogged down a Malibu beach in Baywatch. Joni Mitchell from Fort Macleod, Alta., who may be our greatest singer-songwriter export, made berets and Blue sexy. Bryan Adams, born in Kingston, Ont., raised in Ottawa, melts hearts the world over with his raspy voice. Then there is the late, great poet of Montreal, Leonard Cohen, who managed to be something no one before or since has effectively pulled off: a moody heartthrob.
The world agrees: in 2011, U.S. News & World Report named Canada one of the sexiest of coun- tries, speculating about what hot stuff we are covering up under our parkas at the hockey rink. Circa 2014, we made No. 10 on the list for sexiest country for women (and No. 9 on the list for men) on MissTravel.com. And then last year, nearly 100,000 people responded to the same poll, and Canada zoomed back up the list with a bullet to No. 1 for Sexiest Nationality (men) and No. 3 for women. Looks like Toronto’s more recent hunky cultural exports, Drake and The Weeknd, are helping the Ryans hold down the sexy fort for us all.
Two of the quantifiably hottest flag-bearers of this decade are Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling. Vancouverite Reynolds, now married with children to Blake Lively, was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2010. Formerly married to yetanothersiren,ScarlettJohansson (and once engaged to fellow Canuck, crooner Alanis Morissette), the actor has been heating up the Marvel world. Gosling, who hails from London, Ont., had a banner year headlining La La Land, started out in the Mickey Mouse club and is now married to the smokin’ Eva Mendes. Rumour has it that Gosling has eschewed the People Sexiest honour several times. Either way, life clearly works out in a sexy fashion for these Canadian Ryans.
But this trend isn’t new. Just look at the universal fetish for Mountie outfits. Since Nelson Eddy wooed Jeanette MacDonald in the 1930s, that snug red suit and exaggerated ranger hat (a silhouette recently riffed on by Pharrell Williams) has been a red-hot motif. Then we have the handsome matchup of Newfoundlander Gordon Pinsent and Toronto’s Paul Gross, who played father-son RCMP officers on Due South in the ’90s. Pinsent has now been a Sexy Canadian for 86 years, from Who Has Seen the Wind through The Shipping News to a haunting turn in Away From Her.
Authoritative is also stirring. Need we say more than Baron von Trapp? Christopher Plummer, born in Toronto, has shown astonishing range in his six-decade career. But his sexiness has never been a question mark, from The Sound of Music through Star Trek VI to Barrymore to The Last Station and the brilliant Beginners, where he proves it is never too late to explore one’s sexuality.
We ourselves voted in favour of our own hotness: the Ipsos Reid poll for Historica Canada in 2015 canvassed 1,000 Canadians, and 75 per cent responded that they
believed Canadians were hot. They also thought we were cool (89 per cent), polite (92 per cent) and welcoming toward minority cultural groups (93 per cent).
These are important points, both in our view of ourselves and our view of what matters. Sexy is really less about cleavage and six-pack abs than it is about all that lovely grey matter between our ears. And what is in our hearts: because being decent counts. So, when the World Economic Forum tried to call us “not sexy” last year in its ranking of Canada, even though it named us the (second) best country in the world to live (behind Germany), it missed the proverbial forest for the pine trees. Yes, the ratings project, which was also a collaboration with U.S. News and the Wharton Business School at the University of Pennsylvania, called out props for our stable economy, good job market and public health and education. It praised our global citizenship, with top marks for respect for property, gender equality, religious freedoms, human rights and the environment. But it rated us as 0.2 out of 10 in terms of sexiness! Dudes, all those great things about us are, in fact, the really sexy bits!
To wit: it is Pierre Trudeau’s famous declaration that the state does not belong in the bedrooms of the nation that will forever claim his standing as Sexiest Canadian Ever. For it was at that moment in 1967, around another fairly important anniversary, that Canada became a progressive thought leader around the world, a frontier of progressive social justice, when homosexual acts were finally decriminalized. The rose in his lapel, the cape, the pirouette, the defiant middle finger, all trimmings that burnished his legend and became synonymous with sexy insouciance.
Son Justin proves inclusive is also sexy. His softer style (and let’s face it, equally great looks) adds another kind of shine to our national identity. Trudeau Jr. has not held office long, but he will long be remembered for his embrace of Syrian refugees even as much of the rest of the world closed their doors to a hu- manitarian crisis. And then there are the times he has been snapped with his shirt off. Sigh.
Sexy can be serious, but funny is where the pleasure lies. Canadians have long been world leaders in the comedy trade, and in particular, it seems, our nation has been blessed with guys who seduce with a smile. From Michael J. Fox to Eric McCormack to Dan Aykroyd – even Scarborough’s own Mike Myers bagged all the hottest babes with his rapier wit in his Wayne’s World and Austin Powers franchises.
As a nation of adventurers, sexy is also about having actual sex: a loop. ca poll of 5,000 Canadian passport holders found that 70 per cent of us are happy with our sex lives! And we keep the love alive: 63 per cent of respondents over 70 still have sex at least once a month. Other salacious tidbits included the fact that 55 per cent of respondents owned their own sex toys and that 54 per cent of us have toyed with BDSM. And then it lists the ultimate Canadian statistic: 74 per cent of us have had sex outdoors. Yes, in this land of ice and snow, we make hay when the sun finally shines!
Which brings us to the immortal Pierre Berton line, that a Canadian is someone who has had sex in a canoe. Except, our national narrator, the late Peter Gzowski swore in his memoir that Berton himself never uttered the line. But it has become wedged so deeply into our national mythology that Maclean’s did a survey to find out how many of us have actually attempted intercourse on the open waters: shout out to Ontario for top place, with 14 per cent of dwellers in the trillium province self-reporting they have rocked the boat. No word on how many tipped into the drink.
So, hey, it’s summer, go get out there, grab a seaworthy vessel, close your eyes and think of the Pierre or Maggie – perhaps Justin or Sophie – of your choice!