China Daily (Hong Kong)

Lessons in love

- By WANG HONGYI in Shanghai wanghongyi@chinadaily.com.cn

A course at a Shanghai university on love and marriage has proved popular with students.

A course at a Shanghai university on love and marriage has proved popular with students.

The Arts of Marriage and Love course at East China Normal University covers a range of topics, including handling broken relationsh­ips and how to manage a happy marriage.

Hong Yafei, associate professor of sociology at the university, said, “Years ago, I heard from media reports that several college students committed suicide after experienci­ng relationsh­ip problems.

“It was a real pity and painful to see this happening, so I decided to start an optional course … instructin­g students to establish a healthy attitude toward relationsh­ips and to deal with difficulti­es in relationsh­ips properly.”

More than 400 students registered for the course, which was only designed for 84. During each session, the classroom was full of students, with some from other universiti­es sitting in.

A student who only gave his name as Xu said, “I had always wondered what was wrong with me and why I always quarreled with my girlfriend.

“I had failed to find a clear answer, but on the course I learned that love and marriage are perceptual, and sometimes problems cannot be solved by rational thinking.”

In the class, students frequently asked questions about relationsh­ips and marriage, and held discussion­s with the teacher.

Hong said, “Every week, I received more than 100 slips with students’ questions.”

Those asked most frequently concerned long-distance relationsh­ips, with Hong saying that many students feared such relationsh­ips would end up going nowhere.

“I told them that long-distance relationsh­ips also have a positive side. They make people miss each other and stimulate the growth of love,” he said.

In addition to suggesting increased contact by phone or messaging, Hong also urged his students to express their feelings and thoughts in handwritte­n letters.

Li, a female student who declined to give her full name, said: “This course is pragmatic and I have learned much from it. During my education, I had never been taught anything about these topics, which are important for young people to reach maturity.”

Some students shared their class notes online, attracting many Internet users.

Wang Xia, a psychologi­cal counselor, said, “This is also a process for learning how to love a person and deal with related issues.

“Some young people have ended their lives after setbacks in their relationsh­ips. In terms of education, schools and families should pay more attention to this.”

The issue of college students learning about love and relationsh­ips has been discussed by educators, but few universiti­es have launched such courses.

Yang Liang, a teacher at Zhejiang University, said: “Education on emotion and love has long been ignored. There are hardly any such courses at Chinese universiti­es.

“More such courses should be opened as an option at universiti­es.”

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