The evolution of marriage customs
Zhang Boya, 28, and Huang Zhan, 27, plan to have their wedding in Bali, Indonesia, in May next year. The couple said they were initially unsure about the kind of wedding they wanted, but later decided on a cozy celebration in a foreign country after attending traditional nuptial celebrations in China that were defined by lavish banquets where people hardly knew one another.
“I prefer a small and intimate wedding with only my closest family members and friends,” said the bride Zhang who was born in Taiyuan, Shanxi province.
While details of the event have yet to be confirmed, the couple has set aside a considerable budget of 350,000 yuan ($54,500) to host 18 family members and friends in the popular tropical holiday destination.
Zhang and Huang are just one of many couples in China who are choosing to hold their weddings overseas. In a recent survey conducted by Ctrip.com, one of China’s leading online travel services, nearly 60 percent of young Chinese indicated that they plan to get married abroad.
According to Gai Yongbo, founder of QWedding, the overseas wedding market in China has been growing at an annual rate of 200 percent over the past few years. In addition, online searches for overseas wedding services on Baidu.com had also surged by nearly 250 percent in 2017 from the previous year, according to an industry report released by the Chinese search engine.
Industry players have also reported a similar boom in sales. Hua Zhenxiong, the director of QWedding Shanghai branch, said their orders tripled in 2017. Its sales in January also surpassed last year’s first season figures.
“There are many reasons behind the soaring popularity of overseas weddings, but the most important one is that young couples hope to avoid the tediousness of traditional weddings at home,” Hua said. “Due to traditions, they have to invite people, such as friends of their parents or remote relatives whom they don’t even know.”
Jon Santangelo, the co-founder of wedding boutique Chariot, shared a similar insight and said: “An overseas wedding offers them a decent excuse to avoid inviting extraneous guests, enduring tedious routines and getting exhausted in countless toasts.”
Psychology also plays a part in choosing an overseas wedding over a traditional one at home, Santangelo said.
After all, an overseas wedding is still novel and perceived to be more expensive, he added. As such, exotic wedding photos will stand out on WeChat news feeds and win the envy of friends.
Zhang said she felt bored during her friend’s wedding last year. She also noticed that the bride and the groom did not look like they were enjoying their big day. Instead of being a joyous celebration of the couple’s union, the event looked “no more than a show that they were obliged to present”.
As Zhang and her fiance, who is a Beijing native, explored other
A wedding culture exhibition which shows the evolution in local marriage customs since Qing Dynasty (1644-1911) opened in Shanghai on May 1.
Believed to be the first of its kind on a provincial level in China, the Shanghai Nuptial Culture Exhibition has three major sections: marriage registration management system, marital customs, and family precepts. Admission to the exhibition is free.
More than 100 exhibits, including marriage photos, marriage certificates and dowries used during the different periods, are on display.
According to an official from the Shanghai Civil Affairs Bureau, Shanghai’s marital traditions changed starting from when the city was transformed into a foreign trade port in 1843.
Despite the growing popularity of modern marriages featuring a mix of Chinese and Western culture, traditional wedding customs, such as parental consent and how the couple should not see one another till their options, they came across numerous ads on overseas wedding and articles about celebrities holding their weddings on an island in Thailand, Indonesia or Italy. According to Ctrip, the wedding of Taiwan pop star Nicky Wu and Chinese mainland actress Liu Shishi in March 2016 drove the sales of Bali wedding packages up by 60 percent the following month.
“Once we decided on having an overseas wedding, everything fell into place,” Zhang said.
“It saves us from the complexity and tediousness of a traditional wedding, which can be intimidating when the two families are not from the same place. And because this overseas wedding is not as grand a wedding day, has continued to exist.
In the past, when parents wanted to set their son up with a woman, they would first invite a matchmaker to visit the lady’s home to inform her of their intentions. After learning of the woman’s full name and birthday, the man’s parents would seek advice from a fortune teller to determine whether the woman’s luck and fortune is a match for their son’s. Almost all Chinese families believed in Chinese astrology.
If the fortune teller determined the match to be an auspicious one, the man’s parents would present gifts to the woman’s family, symbolizing respect and kindness as well as the ability to provide a good life. Gifts to the bride in Shanghai during the Qing Dynasty usually comprised jewelry, clothing and tea. The matchmaker would also be rewarded with gifts and feasts if the matchmaking attempt was successful. The fortune teller would later pick an auspicious wedding date.
Wedding ceremonies in the past began with the groom and his family meeting the bride in her home. Before this day, the bride’s dowry ceremony as a traditional one held at home, all we have to consider is our budget and the theme.”
Gai from QWedding said the rise in demand for overseas weddings is a result of the upgrade in China’s domestic consumption.
He also noted that the most popular traditional wedding ceremonies in China in recent years feature a fusion of traditional Chinese elements with Western trends. Besides the traditional wedding rituals and lavish banquet dinners, a wedding in China is now considered incomplete without choreographed photo sessions and honeymoon trips.
Gai started to offer couples customized photography services in Bali in 2009. Faced with an would have already been sent to the groom’s house. The dowry represented her social status and wealth, and was displayed at the groom’s house. The most common dowries included a pair of scissors that symbolized an eternal union and vases which represented peace and wealth.
Before the groom’s arrival on the wedding day, the bride would be led or carried by her elder brother to a sedan covered by a red headkerchief. The groom would have to first pass a series of tests before he was allowed to see the bride.
Times have since changed and traditional marriage customs have become mixed with modern practices. Since the founding of the People’s Republic of China in 1949, young people have become increasingly increasing demand for extended wedding services, he set up QWedding in 2013. Business of the Shenzhen-based company has since taken off.
As one of the country’s leading overseas wedding planners, the company now has 15 branches running across the country’s major cities, including Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, Guangdong province.
Gai pointed out that simplicity and convenience are the main factors behind the decision to hold an overseas wedding.
“An overseas wedding trip is usually complete with a pre-wedding photo session and a honeymoon,” he said. “The whole experience is more inclined to propose without first consulting their parents and adopting simplified wedding customs.
Arranged marriages became obsolete after the implementation of the Marriage Law in 1950. The wedding process also became simpler and marriage certificates from civil affairs authorities became the norm.
In the 1960s and 70s, some couples chose to be wed in the marriage registration office. Others held their wedding ceremonies in the workplace. Some also chose mass wedding ceremonies which were less expensive.
During this period, classic marriage goods were watches, bicycles, sewing machines and radios. In the 1980s and 90s, these items were upgraded to televisions, fridges and washing machines. relaxing than that of a traditional wedding at home that has many routines cramped into one day.”
Hua added that getting married in another country is also not as expensive as most people think. For example, the average price of orders at QWedding cost around 70,000 yuan, which is comparable if not lower than most traditional wedding banquets.
Hao Jiejing, 26, and her husband Jiang Kun, 27, can attest to the high price of a traditional celebration — the newlyweds recently spent a whopping 300,000 yuan for a 12-table banquet at Jing An ShangriLa West Shanghai.
The couple said that they were initially looking forward to having an overseas wedding but had to drop the idea after facing opposition from parents, a phenomenon which is not uncommon. The same survey done by Ctrip showed that only 8 percent of couples who want overseas weddings actually have one. Parental opposition was cited as the main factor.
One solution to this problem, albeit a more expensive one, is having two weddings. This is what Zhang and her fiance plan to do.
“We will have a small wedding in Bali and then throw a banquet for family members and friends who couldn’t come to our wedding when we go back to China,” said Zhang.
“This way, we can have our fun while satisfying our parents and keeping with tradition.”