Why today’s parents can’t take it easy
It’s lunch break. In my office, two mothers are chatting about their kids – again. “You know what... almost all my daughter’s classmates [in kindergarten] see a tutor. I’m considering whether I should find one too,” one of them said.
“You should. I’ve already found two for my son; every week, he receives five hours of tuition,” said the other. “Next September, he will reach school age. My husband and I are trying to use some guanxi [personal connections] to get him into [the best school in the district]. That might cost up to 100,000 yuan ($14,594). But if my son can meet good teachers, I will spare myself lots of trouble!”
Such talk also abounds online, especially around September when thousands of kids walk into a school for the first time. It’s nothing new that young parents desperately look for tutors, buy school-district homes or resort to guanxi so that their kids can get into the best schools. Clearly, this anxiety about education is contagious.
In China, primary and middle school education is compulsory. Public schools do not charge tuition. But middle-class parents want more elite education than that.
As a young man who hasn’t yet had a kid, I find it hard to grasp such anxiety. Why are today’s parents going the extra mile? They throw the majority of their earnings at tutors and spend hours every night “howling” – tutoring their kids, with the toil of schooling ridiculously falling on their shoulders. After all, things weren’t so messy 20 years ago when I was raised.
When I was in primary school, none of my classmates had a tutor. Most of us went to the nearest public school. We hadn’t learned the English words of apple, bag, cake or dog until the third grade, but today we are still able to teach English in schools. Parents did play a pivotal role in our education, but over the age of six – the school age – teachers would take over and play a major role. Most parents then weren’t educated well enough to tutor their children as they could neither speak English nor solve a complicated mathematical equation. As a result we had to fully depend on ourselves and school teachers.
Don’t get me wrong. My parents do love me. They would ask about my day and take a look at my homework, but they didn’t have to bother too much with my schooling – it’s not their duty, after all.
So why are today’s parents finding it so hard to relax? What has changed? When parents have to spend several hours every night tutoring their kids, or 90 percent of students in a class need an out-of-school tutor, a reality though, doesn’t it mean that the school teachers aren’t qualified in doing their jobs and should therefore be penalized? And despite governments’ fresh regulations that discourage after-school tutoring, parents and students cannot remain excessively busy. I’ve seen nine-monthold babies sent to meet an English tutor! What can they learn? The education fanatic across China is indeed disturbing.
Uneven distribution of educational resources is to blame, perhaps. It is a conundrum that, to a large extent, remains unsolved despite multiple measures taken by the authorities. Public, suburban schools may have to devise more effective ways to attract talented and experienced teachers. However, in primary schools, children are expected to learn more than academic subjects, such as manners, good habits, compassion, tolerance and confidence through an array of activities. This can actually be taught in public and elite private schools alike. Thinking of this kind may help parents assuage their anxiety about whether to send kids to elite schools at all costs.
Parents try everything to get their kids to the top-level primary and school so that children have greater chances of enrolling into top universities, which heralds a success in career. However, not every child is suitable for this path and they should be given multiple options for their life. Going to vocational schools can be a good choice, though it is still frowned upon by Chinese parents today since these schools don’t sound as promising as universities. But we do need quality vocational schools to provide alternatives for children that fail in gaokao, national college entrance exam, which can to some extent alleviate public anxiety about elementary education.
I sincerely hope the widespread and contagious anxiety about elementary education can be reined in so that parents and children don’t have to be always immersed in intense competition. When I have a school-age kid, I wish I won’t be flooded by such anxiety.