Article famously declared in the 1980s that a single, tertiary-educated, 40-year-old woman had more chance of being killed in a terrorist attack than getting married. It was referring to the notoriously brutal New York dating scene, but these days, it see
NEWSWEEK
And the elite of Hong Kong have it harder than most, as parties in Phuket, polo matches in Argentina and offices in six time zones can wreak havoc with your dating schedule. “We cater to high-society Hongkongers who are finding it difficult to meet a partner,” says Claire Sweetingham, who runs the upmarket London-based matchmaking agency Gray & Farrar. “There are a number of reasons for this. First, Hong Kong is a small place and confidentiality is a big thing. People come across each other every day and they don’t want to jeopardise professional relationships by hanging around in bars. That means meeting like-minded people is hard, as there are few ways of extending one’s social reach in a dignified and private way. Second, Hong Kong is a transient place and our clients struggle to meet genuine individuals who want a long-term, committed partnership. Casual relationships are easy to find but this is not what our clients want—they’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person.”
An attractive 33-year-old heiress I meet for coffee confirms it can be a loveless world out there. “I think there’s a lot of stigma about being single after a certain age in Hong Kong. I get so much grief from my parents, who are desperate for grandchildren and think I’m too focused on running my company to meet a man. Apparently guys are all intimidated by me,” she says. “I know my family are trying to motivate me to go out and meet someone, but whenever I do it feels like all the single guys are either players who are only interested in going to bars and chatting up models, or they’re too focused on building their careers to think about getting married.”
There are undoubtedly many who relish the wilder side of Hong Kong nightlife—the ones for whom the ideas of marriage and children play second fiddle to a third round of cocktails at Dragon-i. “The other day my father told me off for being an eternal Peter Pan,” a 31-year-old high-flying bachelor recently told me at a society party. “I thought about it and decided I’m actually more of a Captain Hook, because every time I go on a date, I feel like I’m being deafened by the ticktock of women’s biological clocks.”
Does this mean the city’s single women are being unfairly cast in a desperate Bridget Jones role? “That tired stereotype is not only outdated, it’s wrong,” says Sweetingham. “Absolutely everybody views dating as a men’s market, and there’s this fabricated idea that there are lots of women in Hong Kong who are finding it difficult to meet someone and