YOU'VE GOT QUESTIONS? SHE'S GOT ANSWERS (BUT YOU PROBABLY WON'T LIKE THEM)
I like sharing photos of interesting architecture and art exhibitions on my Xiaohongshu account. Do you know any cool places in Beijing? My followers would love it!
Artsy Anna
You! You are one of those讨人嫌的 (tǎorénxián de, annoying people) who入侵 (rùqīn, invade) my hutong! Thanks to those骗人的 (piànrén de, deceiving) filters on your 照片儿 (zhàopiānr, photographs), I can't go two steps outside my house without seeing a网红 (wǎngh5ng, viral) spot!
These obnoxious youths 拥堵 (yōngdǔ, swamp) our narrow alleyway every weekend, posing for photos and call it 打卡(dǎkǎ, “punch the card,” take photos as proof of visiting a place)! Just leave us alone! Go to 798 or草场地 (Cǎochǎngdì) art district, or that 潮流 (cháoliú, trendy) shopping mall to see those千奇百怪 (qiānqí bǎiguài, “hundreds and thousands of strange things,” most bizarre) exhibitions. Back in my day,艺术为人民服务 (Yìshù wèi rénmín fúwù, art serves the people), but now it just confuses people! But since all you do is走马观花 (zǒumǎ guānhuā, “looking at flowers on horseback,” gain a superficial understanding through a brief look) and take selfies, just make sure your phone is charged and stop coming into my courtyard to borrow a充电宝 portable charger)!
My 65-year-old widowed mother met a 70-year-old widower in Renmin Park three months ago, and they want to get married! Can you believe it?! How can I dissuade her?
Nah Nate
Deal with it! It's not like you listened to your parents when they told you not to marry that woman who they think is 配不上你 (pèi bu shàng nǐ, not good enough for you). Or do you think your 面子 (miànzi, face) will be hurt? Then you have a bigger封建思想 (fēngjiàn sīxiǎng, “feudal ideas”) problem than me! You think she should just follow三从四德(sānc5ng sìdé, “The Three Obediences and Four Virtues,” a Confucian rule-book governing female behavior in ancient China) and obey you as the man of the house?! Haven't you heard the folk saying天要下雨，娘要嫁人(Tiān yào xiàyǔ, niáng yào jiàrén. It rains when Heaven deems fit, mother remarries when she wants to)? There is nothing you can do about it. Although why she wants to get another husband is beyond me; hasn't she done enough照顾人 (zhàogù rén, taking care of people) and家务 (jiāwù, housework) already?
Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com