All marriages different, but almost similar entry, exit
Tappointment of the youngest British Prime Minister (PM) in about 200 years signals a vote of faith in all ages and also heralds what may be a new era for leadership in various sectors around the world.
While the appointment is historic for different reasons including the PM Rishi Sunak being the first British Asian PM, it is his age of 42 that appeals to the younger generation who see hope that indeed they may also one day, sooner than later hold an important office. So apart from the political and governance part that this announcement is all about, for me and others, it is also a time to celebrate the faith in all ages being capable to lead in whatever sector. Age should not be a determinant for anyone to do business or lead in any sector as long as they are fully capacitated for that journey. Such moves globally mean that the room is open for young people to participate in development. That is my main interest in this whole development and I shall leave the politics part of it to my peers who are political analysts. But I shall use this appointment as a foundation to pivot some of my points on the importance of investing in youth for leadership.
The participation of youth in development has been scarce in recent times and to see many off late, especially overseas take up that space is heartwarming. I am not saying 42 is youth. But he did begin his political career at an early age. Sunak became Britain’s third PM in two months on
HE
Tuesday and pledged to lead the country out of an economic crisis and rebuild trust in politics.
Having not tuned to global news stations for a long period in a bid to keep negativity out of my life, the buzz around the resignation of the then PM Liz Truss and taking over of her successor in Britain raised a lot of interest.
This interest led me to pick up that remote that only comes alive when Liverpool FC plays. Liverpool a team as unpredictable as the weather these days. Tuning into BBC and CNN for a change was a move worth it.
Listening to Liz Truss’ speech as she bade farewell also touched on some points about the power of holding your head up in any situation. While some may have viewed her short-term as a failure, she exited with her head held up high and that is an important life lesson for the
One man’s food is another’s poison” they say. Have you noticed how more and more of those who are in want out, those outside continue to want and eventually rush in?
Almost every other week (nearly at the same rate of those beautiful celebration pictures and videos posted on these socials) one continues to hear, read or even bump into video clips of yet another sad (allegedly brave) story about how some have escaped, battled divorce or even survived previous marriage. Where/what is the problem kahle kahle?
Agreed, each and every marriage is different, but there seems to be a growing pattern (if not trend) of plenty ‘till death do us apart oaths that are made in vain. In fact, this specific part of vows seems to have lost value with time and continue to get even worse by generations.
Not to suggest that people should stay in marriages that no longer work for them, make sense, serve purpose or even feel safe, but the first question is trying to figure out the reason or contributing factors behind the high frequency and rate of divorce.
Those who are married and it’s working for them, good. But what about those
STATIONS SIMILAR Newly-appointed British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak.
youth. Things may not go as you planned, and you may have to quit, but that does not mean you have to stay in the valley. You need to still show up and keep going in other things.
The Guardian Newspaper in the United Kingdom also picked up what I noted about her boldness till the end. It wrote ‘In her final speech outside No.10 before going on holiday, Truss showed no sign of contrition for the chaos that engulfed her 50-day premiership.
Instead, she quoted the Roman philosopher Seneca, who said: ‘It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.’ I just love that quote. With the world facing a lot of challenges as I noted when I was away from the soccer channels following the news, I noticed that it is indeed strength and unity that will get us through the tough times now. whose marriage end in nasty divorces. Could it be that we have been socialized to create and try and keep up with very high and sometimes impractical standards and expectations?
The reasoning and motivation behind such questioning is definitely not to discourage or campaign against marriage (regardless of the heard and witnessed pains, stresses and even traumas of those going through separation) but to try figure out if there could be an umbrella kind of solution for those who unfortunately eventually find themselves going through the most.
Of course bearing in mind that all marriages are different, but have almost very entry and exit points as well as reasoning behind both.
On the other hand, even though most seem not to care or be aware but divorce stigma is very real, painfully dangerous and seems to be growing worse by the day. Out of curiosity, how best can we sensitively address, deal prevent such?
Personally, regarding divorce stigma, I think we can all do much better in that field. Stigma is usually a result of our attitudes and prejudice towards/against something and the very same us can do something to fix it.
Some of the stories of those going through a terrible divorce or have survived a ‘failed marriage’ are very disheartening so much that one wishes there could be a better way around it all and specially to ensure a much more bearable/better experience of going separate
Equally the new PM is a brilliant orator in my view, he is kind of Obama-risque public speaker, having good poise, stature and eloquence.
In his first address as Britain’s PM, Sunak promised ‘integrity, professionalism and accountability.’ Three integral elements of leadership in any sector. What I also liked is that he is ready to hit the ground running despite the enormous challenges it seems he has on his hands.
“Some mistakes were made — not borne of ill will or bad intentions, quite the opposite, in fact — but mistakes nonetheless. And I have been elected as leader of my party, and your prime minister, in part, to fix them. And that work begins immediately,” he said.
In my next life, I would like to write speeches with such promptness and urgency in their tone as this one. ‘That work begins immediately’,. Again interesting lessons for anyone in leadership to take as notes from this transition in the UK. That the people one serves want things done immediately.
LEADERSHIP
“Back to the issue of youth and leadership, the World Economic Forum notes that for millennia, youth has been equated with energy. Rightly so. The idea of the demographic dividend in recent times is an example of this thinking. The experts note that as the average age of a country falls, the dependency ratio (working to non-working people) declines and, as more and more young people become productive workers and consumers, a new glorious chapter in the growth story of a country can, in theory, be written.
Noteworthy is that to really reap the dividend, however, youth has to be viewed from a different lens, for leadership. “Apart from the abundance of
ways.
Anyway, according to the American Psychological Association, “about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.” further notes that “in 2019, black African couples had the greatest number of divorces in comparison to other population groups.”
In the year 2015, the Times of Eswatini reported that 236 marriages ended in divorce in the past 11 months.
Very broad and somewhat sensitive of a topic as it may seem or be for some, but do we really have a divorce problem?
Have you ever wondered why people generally have a problem with divorce (and divorcees) opposed to marriage which is actually the main cause?
Ever considered how the marriage concept/institution tracked back to its origins and the very misunderstood, distorted and ever changing purpose could be liable for most blame?
Until you leave the comfort of the indoors to explore a bit the outdoors, maybe even get a better view in the process, you will never fully understand and appreciate the alternative greatness that exists outside the box.
Life constantly and continuously teaches different lessons, but similar to a classroom full of adolescent learners, not everyone in attendance is ready, eager and willing to learn.
Another sad truth about ignorance is that, in most cases, people eventually find themselves preferring comfort in misery over attempts of thinking and exploring alternatives outside the box.
Minus all the unnecessary family pressures and ridiculous societal expectations,
DivorceLaws.co.za
energy, youth may also provide fresh perspectives, irreverence for the status quo and a disruptive, creative, innovative mind that is willing to try experiments that may fail with no concerns about reputation,” the writer at WEF notes. That is good and bad but for success of the youth in leadership there obviously need to be a blend of youth and experience.
So how can leadership development be harnessed in the millennial world? Well, it cannot be only through workshops and management school classrooms. Experts rightly note that for youth finding information is easy; what they lack is experience, especially experience in situations they have not faced before.
“Experiences that can take them into the heart of what an organisation is all about: Quick, everyday decision-making. These decisions need to be ringfenced so that they can become experiences to learn from rather than mistakes causing colossal failures that can damage morale forever,” the same feature notes. This is why programmes like Job Shadow by Junior Achievement Eswatini and others matter.
This is why attachments and internships as well as Graduate In Training Programmes are so meaningful to water and grow the next generation of leaders. This means therefore that instead of only reaping the dividend from youthful energy, organisations and sectors should sow the seed of agency and leadership in youth to create a force multiplier for change in both organisations and in a world crying out for social and psychological renewal, as the WEF notes.
Such appointments as the young British PM show the changing texture of leadership and bridging the gap between the generations and creating a synergy of coexistence of all ages to ensure that the biggest winners are the people served, either in Britain, the world or any sector. After all, at all times, we must be the biggest winners.
nowadays, getting married is fast becoming very unpopular. In fact, according to India Today Web Desk “marriages continue to get less popular, divorce rates are increasing across the world.
Though marriage is dependent on religion, family, culture, an individual behaviour, location, it is currently a stubborn global issue.”
Can we at least agree that marriage is the main or initial problem, and any further debates are worsened by confused differing opinions regarding monogamy versus polygamy and tradition/culture versus religious values and stances?
It is safe to conclude that marriage is much (if not more) of an avoidable ‘pandemic’ as divorce. In addition, way before marriage, it also counts is how one has been socialised to understand, aspired and participate in relationships.
Always keep in mind that any forced projection/element of relationship and its permanency could possibly be the biggest contributing factor to the whole problem.
From experience, general discussions and observation, it seems to be in the nature of a human being that feels tied down to always try find an alternative way out or towards freedom.
Indeed, sociologists and other social science, traditional and religious experts might raise social order and family structure as counter arguing points, but judging the current going of things, it very difficult to see it otherwise.
Remember different strokes for different folks. Once again, no shade, provocation, discouragement or whatsoever intended and/or aimed at those already married or aspiring to do so, hear me out please.