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Sir,

I have decided to express words of appreciation to the feminine through whom we all come to this world. No man or combination of man can tell the travail of a woman on labour. Women alone know how it’s like to have a soul come to this world under not so comfortable conditions. The masculine is obscured from this experience.

With their various gifts, mothers extend to each of us some qualities that are valuable about them. Mothers by nature are nurturers.

Question

I sometimes ask people the question of who of the two, mother and father, do they gravitate more towards or who they do favour or love more between these parents. Generally speaking people would rather lose fathers than mothers. With a few exceptions, we naturally love our mothers more than our fathers. Have you ever wondered or thought why things are that way?

I guess the response can be summarised in that women are hardwired to care more for their children than fathers. Generally, mothers put and change our dippers; they bath and dress us. For nine months they are heavy with the baby.

Contribute

There is also the umbilical code connection between baby and mother. There is a bonding that occurs during breastfeeding that cannot be replicated. All these mothers’ activities in the early years of our lives may jointly and severally contribute to children loving mum more and loving dad less. As one mother suggested: “Mamas do a lot of the heavy lifting of child rearing during those first formative years and that leaves an impression that they carry with them for life.”

Sometimes these mothers are single and do single parenting, and it is amazing how they pull out such a difficult but magnificent work. It is really difficult raising a man. Sometimes we are chaotic as babies, let alone the madness of adolescence. Hence, if you look for the expression of unconditional love and forbearance, you will find it with mothers.

The overall verdict, despite your imperfections, your self-blame; mothers, you are praiseworthy, lovely and of good report. You certainly do more good, in the developmental pattern of your children, than you now can comprehend. In the process of time or by and by you shall know this.

To sum it up, it is no wonder that the ‘Spice Girls’ in their song, ‘Mama,’ play us out in this fashion: “Mama I love you. Mama I care…Mama my friend… Mama my love… Me loving you, you loving me, a love that’s true and guaranteed.”

M Nkambule