–‹‰ƒ ƒ„‘—– ‡–ƒŽ Š‡ƒŽ–Š ƒ––‡”•

Sir,

Living a fulfilled life involves experiencing self in ‘all ways’. Most experiences can be planned, executed and realised. However, there are those thrown at us and for which we have no control. These take us along a debilitating pathway which upon exiting on the other side, one has tools and measures in place to permit one to lead, to a degree, a ‘protected life’.

At the age of 20 I lost my father and, as this totally crushed me, I ended up, six months later, suffering a nervous breakdown.

Depression

As doctors at the time did not realise that valium could have adverse effects on certain, I was prescribed same which resulted in me going deeper into depression. Besides depression making one lose all zest for life, it also shows one just how powerful one’s mind is. I shut down all emotions so that I could not ‘feel pain’. This also shut my body down, I ended up having to undergo psychiatric treatment for a year.

I was blessed that at the time I worked for people who were considerate and understanding. They permitted me, once a month, to leave work early on a Friday so

I could travel to Durban for sleep therapy and a session with my psychiatrist. I was also prescribed medication to buff my emotions which were volatile. Needless to say it was only those really ‘close to me’ who one dared to share with what one was undergoing, for there existed and continues to exist a stigma about mental health matters in this country. I cannot understand this mentality as mental health issues should be something we discuss quite openly; perhaps this is the reason many are in need of ‘help’ but refuse to accept their diagnosis! It is not ‘normal’ to retaliate with violence as a coping mechanism, something quite common in this country.

Understand

This psychiatrist not only helped me understand why I felt a certain way towards certain behaviours and attitudes but also taught me how to see different perspectives to whatever it was I was facing. This is probably why Americans refer to a psychologist as an analyst. In this day and age anyone who does not have one is considered to be lagging behind. In the kingdom, however, those visiting psychologists are considered ‘crazy’. It just shows us how perspectives differ. I call it ‘ignorance’.

Many will pass judgement quite ignorant of what actually transpires in the privacy of the walls of one’s marital home. For certain it is best to accept they can love another and yet be quite incompatible in numerous aspects which then makes cohabiting comfortably impossible for they differ drastically.

Recently, when certain ‘violence’ perpetrated on another in my presence triggered in me something that my brain had found overwhelming and had frozen for some years, I again had to go for debriefing and assistance to cope with the ‘fear’ that had been awakened within me. It was as if I had just been violated! We are amazing computers, we have self protecting mechanisms and yet unless we face and ‘deal’ with those, we will not prosper for no one can progress if they are being weighed down by baggage. This baggage tends to inhibit us. Life is a process. One just has to trust the process. Although often the process may seem laborious one must follow it through without hesitation for, as I said before, upon exiting on the other side one proceeds with confidence and is assured that one can handle anything.

I Antonio