”—‡ Ž‘˜‡ ‡š‹•–•
Sir,
We may miss the essence of love but that doesn’t stop it from being beautiful. When we fail love we assume the problem is love while the problem is with us. Many people do not understand the gist of love. Love is a common concept but it is misunderstood. We confuse love with lust. We associate love with temporary sparks. Many people no longer believe in love. Why is it so really? Does it mean true love does not exist?
Let me sight from my favourite book ‘the Bible’, the basic reason why I believe in love is because of the connection Adam felt by merely laying his eyes on Eve. When Eve appeared Adam said: “Behold, this at last is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh”. I therefore define love as the deep, innermost connection that exists between two souls. However, according to Dr Myles Munroe, love is a decision. I guess this is the best matured definition that can be given unto love. If loving someone could be a decision, it can withstand low moments. The reason why marriages are failing it’s because people have based their relationships on feelings. It is a pity because feelings are chemicals and chemicals change every after five seconds. There are days when you’re moody, you don’t want to talk and you need space but if you make love a decision: You shut those feelings down. You reason about the health of the relationship and do something positive that will keep the relationship going.
Feelings act as our enemy sometimes. If we’re not careful, we going to lose many things because of them. When you shout at your spouse, you’re angry and that how you feel. When you utter improper and hurtful words during an argument, you’re controlled by your feelings. Anything that isn’t fruitful for a relationship requires a decision so that it may be removed. Some men become abusive because they’re failing to control feelings of temper. May people realise the facts about feelings, so that marriage becomes beautiful as it is meant to be.
Love exists, deep inside the heart, pure, genuine and unconditional. It begins as a feeling ‘butterflies’ and has to be sustained as a decision. In my perspective, there’s nothing that is more beautiful than having someone you love. Love brings completeness and fulfillment.
Philistine Mdluli