When you can’t take their pain away

'

2 you know that Must be ing there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all else feels hopeless. Its not always resources or material things that one needs during a challenging time in their lives. Sometimes it can Must be listening or talking that can be com forting. 3arents, if I were to ask you what your worst nightmare is, what would you say"

I would believe you would Must like me say, ³to watch or know my child is suffering,” an extension of that be ing and to not be able to do anything to help or take it away.”

If you’re not a parent, I’m guess ing you’re felt this same way about someone else you’ve loved, so a lot of this probably applies to you as well.

/et’s focus for a minute on the illness angle, as that is where most of us feel so helpless whenever our loved ones are in that space.

$s a matter of fact I have a personal experience where my daughters had to watch me in pain and I could tell by looking at them that they some how wished they could take all the pain I was in, sadly it was not to be the case but all that mattered at that point was Must them holding my hand in a time where I felt at my lowest.

I knew that they could not take away my pain, but the love I felt from them made a huge difference.

Illness is a painful reality for mil lions of people around the world.

It doesn’t matter whether that illness is something as seemingly mild as the common cold, or some thing far more threatening on the health scale, for a parent to watch their child get sick and suffer, it’s not a situation that anyone wants.

They are forced to put on a brave face and shove down the feelings that threaten to bubble over at any point )ear, sadness, guilt, anger, helplessness, frustration and exhaus tion are mostly all the feelings that engulf one during that time.

I always feel I have such brave young girls as my daughters, they have watched me overcome adver sity and shine, time and time again. But then again on the flip side I feel for them as they had to face the un derlying realities of my situation de spite my vibrant smile, the ongoing pain and life challenges. $ctually, when a person is ill, the whole family feels the pain.

MENTALLY

'uring a time of illness, the healthy family members are often over worked, physically and mentally, particularly if they have assumed car egiver responsibilities, all of which is compounded by the helplessness they feel when they are unable to provide relief to the family member in distress.

It’s Must a sad reality, Must like they can’t walk a mile in shoes of the one in pain, the one in pain can’t walk a mile in theirs. Our shoes are unique. They fit only us.

What a life lesson this is though. I know though that because parents love their children so deeply, they would make any sacrifice required to take their hurt away and make it all better.

The question becomes, what hap pens when you really cannot take away their pain, despite all the wish ing and heartfelt sentiments"

When you really cannot remove your child’s obstacles, in whatever form they may take"

I can’t imagine the agony, anger, guilt, frustration, helplessness, pow erless and the numerous of other emotions that parents feel and con tinue to feel, when they think about their children’s challenges in life.

$ parent is supposed to take away all of her child’s obstacles. Truth fully, that is an unrealistic burden to place upon yourself.

HEALTHY FAMILY MEMBERS

To any parents reading this or to anyone who’s feeling the agony of being unable to heal their loved one’s pain, please do your upmost to release yourself from these men tal shackles. I know that the mind is very cruel at times, if you allow it unchained freedom, and it will keep you stuck in a place of sadness that serves neither you nor your child.

Take it easy you are doing the best you can. Why compound your pain with unnecessary guilt"

To my daughter, please know this, I might have equipped you with everything you need in this life but sadly you can’t take away my pain, but you can be happy that you gave me the strength and the will to per severe.

Sometimes, all you can do is be there. $nd Must being there might be enough.