The thin line: Being around love and not in it

Madam,

,n honour of the month of love, , found it most honourable and wise to dot something on relationships. On the corrective and most sagging side of the topic, it is most prudent and eye opening to delve a bit more on how and why we push ourselves, and others, in to[ic love triangles and have an emotional sit-down with ourselves to better evaluate and assess ourselves about love.

7o[ic behaviour in relationships is unfortunately common and can have detrimental effects on those involved. 8nderstanding why people become to[ic in relationships reTuires a deeper look into various factors that contribute to such behaviours.

One of the main reasons people e[hibit to[ic behaviours in relationships is past e[periences. +urtful e[periences in previous relationships or trauma from childhood could lead individuals to develop negative coping mechanisms, such as manipulation, control or aggression.

INSECURITY

7hese behaviours are often rooted in fear, insecurity, and a lack of trust, causing individuals to act out in harmful ways.

$dditionally, to[ic behaviour can be a result of poor communication skills. When individuals struggle to e[press their emotions and needs effectively, they may resort to unhealthy tactics to be heard or understood. 7his can lead to passive-aggressive behaviour, lashing out, or ignoring the needs of their partner, creating a to[ic dynamic in the relationship.

/ow self-esteem and issues with self-worth can also contribute to to[ic behaviour in relationships. When individuals do not feel good about themselves, they may seek validation from their partners in unhealthy ways. 7his can manifest as Mealousy, possessiveness, or constant need for reassurance, all of which can strain the relationship and lead to to[ic patterns of interaction.

Moreover, e[ternal stressors such as work pressure, financial difficulties, or family problems can impact how individuals behave in their relationships. When people are overwhelmed or under a lot of pressure, they may

inadvertently take out their frustrations on their partners, leading to to[ic interactions and hurtful behaviour.

,nsecurities and unresolved personal issues can play a significant role in shaping to[ic behaviour in relationships. ,ndividuals who struggle with unresolved trauma, unresolved conflicts, or unmet emotional needs may proMect their pain onto their partners, creating a cycle of to[icity that is difficult to break.

,t is important to note that to[ic behaviour is not always intentional. Often, individuals engaging in such behaviours may not realise the impact of their actions on their partners or may be unaware of healthier ways to communicate and relate to others. 6eeking therapy, counselling, or selfhelp resources can be beneficial in addressing the underlying issues that contribute to to[ic behaviour and learning healthier ways to navigate relationships.

,n conclusion, people become to[ic in relationships for a variety of reasons, including past e[periences, poor communication skills, low self-esteem, e[ternal stressors and unresolved personal issues. 5ecognising these factors and addressing them through self-reflection, therapy, and open communication is crucial in breaking free from to[ic patterns and fostering healthy, fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.

Bayanda