JUST FOR LAUGHS

Doctor

A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, “Doctor, I believe I’m a deck of cards!”

The doctor calmly replies, “Go sit in the waiting room, please, I’ll be dealing with you later.”

Pop

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

He wanted to be a pop star.

Psychiatrist

A man to a psychiatrist: “How do you select who should be admitted to your facility?”

The psychiatrist replies: “We fill a bathtub with water and give the person a spoon, a cup and a bucket. Then we ask that person to empty the bathtub.”

The man smiles: “Ah, I understand, if you are sane you would take the bucket.”

The Psychiatrist replies: “No, a sane guy pulls the plug. Do you want a room with or without a balcony?”

Drunk

A guy spends the night drinking in a bar. When he finally leaves at 4:30, he immediately falls over. He crawls for a while, then tries to get back up, falls, crawls, gets back up. On an on he goes on doing this until he finally gets home. There he falls in his bed and promptly starts snoring.

In the morning, his wife sighs, ‘you’ve been drinking again, Joe, haven’t you?’ How on Earth could you guess that, darling?’ ‘You went and left the wheelchair at the bar again!!!’