HUSBAND, A PILLAR OF STRENGTH IN CANCER FIGHT
Iknew that my wife will look after my children and my children will see their mum grow old with me.
This were the words of brave husband of Asenaca Driso, Jovilisi Rayalu Ducia.
Ms Driso learned about her cancer in January this year when she visited Lautoka Hospital due to continuous bleeding.
The doctors had conducted some tests and informed them that Ms Driso was a cervical cancer patient. Ms Driso is now a stage two B cervical cancer survivor.
The mother of five had lost all hopes of living but Mr Ducia kept assuring her that she was going to see their first grandchild.
Her eldest child is 12 years-old while her youngest is two years-old. Mr Ducia said everything came crumbling down in front of him when he learned about his wife’s cancer.
News about cancer
“It was the first night when Asenaca got diagnosed and I came home, my daughter was sleeping.
“I kept looking at my daughter because she reminded me of Asenaca.
“I could not stop myself from crying. I just carried my daughter and asked God if he could give me another chance and strengthen my faith to keep going on through this hard time.
“I asked God to forgive me for anything I did and just give back my wife and help me to fight this with her.
“This whole thing has changed my way of how I looked at my wife, marriage and family as a whole. “I had requested my employer to transfer me to Suva so I could stay with my wife and kids.
“It was not an easy journey for both of us.
“My eldest son knew what his mother was going through.
“He could not stop crying and I kept assuring him that nothing will happen to her.
Faith
“I kept pushing Asenaca that I will get her to India and everything will be alright.
“Our journey was blessed by God because without Him, we wouldn’t have been able to do anything. “Sometimes, things didn’t go as we wanted but God has His own plans. “I was worried about her and our children.
“I didn’t know what to do and left everything on God to take care of and just kept praying to give me enough strength to keep going in this hardship.
“I am grateful that everything fell into place.
“It’s all about commitment to your loved ones especially your wife. “No matter how high or difficult the mountain is you just have to have faith because nothing can replace the love of a mother for her children,” Mr Ducia said.
Crushed
Ms Driso said when she learned about her cancer, it felt like the whole world came crashing down on her.
“The first thing that came to my mind was that I was going to die. “My husband was there with me when I learned about my cancer. “I was diagnosed in Lautoka hospital and I kept thinking that I was going to die and who will look after my children.
“To be told that you have cancer after you just spent Christmas and New Year with your loved ones when everything was perfect, it was devastating.
“The night I was diagnosed, I didn’t want to stay alone.
“I had asked the doctors and nurses if my husband could stay with me throughout the night because I was scared that I would die if I go to sleep. Males are not allowed in the women surgical ward and I had a hard time to let him go home.
“I didn’t have any courage to call anyone and inform them about the bad news.
“My husband was positive and strong to stay by my side and inform our families of cancer.
“I have four boys and a daughter and first thing that came to my mind was that I am not going to see her off for her first day at school.
Husband support
“My husband was positive along the way and I am blessed to have him as my husband.
“My husband was by my side every moment he could get.
“I had avoided the topic of cancer and went into denial.
“After the biopsy, I was informed that there was no treatment available for cervical cancer in Fiji. “The only treatment was available in India.
“I have five small kids and my husband wasn’t earning enough to pay $15,000 for the treatment.
“We kept thinking that we cannot afford that much money.
“I was so negative about all this. “Knowing the financial difficulty we were in, my husband supported me that if I want to go to India for treatment then we go; don’t worry about the money.
“I knew that I was going to die and I told my husband to move on with someone who can replace me and love my children as hers and my husband said to me that ‘you’re not going to die and we are going to grow old together and we will see our first grandchild together’. “The pain of cancer was unbearable for me.
“I could not get out of the mind set of dying.
“My husband was my pillar of strength.
“Then I was transferred to Suva so I could stay with my family.
“I was in so much denial that I didn’t want to meet my friends or family.
Fundraising
“From January till April, we were trying to raise money to go to India but it was really hard.
“I told my husband that it’s okay if I am going to die then it’s alright. “Then we came to know about Fiji Cancer Society (FCS) and everything was sorted out and before we knew it, we had booked our ticket to India.
“I had thought everything will be easy in India but it wasn’t. “The treatment came with so much pain and my husband hardly slept.
“The trip to India had taught me a lot of things especially to appreciate my husband and children and my family as a whole.
For ten weeks of treatment, I was the worst person to be with at that time but my husband was very patient with me and stood with me every moment.
“One day I was laid in bed and asked God why He is giving me so much pain; it’s better if You take my life than giving me that pain. “As soon as I said that, I saw my youngest son standing in front of me giving me a nice smile. “I could not stop crying and thought to myself that God has better plans for me and this is just temporary and everything will be fine. “My husband has been with me through thick and thin from day one. I thank God for having him as my husband,” Ms Driso said.
The effects of cancer
She said cancer does not only affect the person but the family as a whole.
When Ms Driso was fighting cancer, she had lost all interest in life and felt she was going far from her family and children.
“I had lost all hope but my husband kept assuring me even though I knew it had hurt him too.
“He managed everything on his own and our children too.
“I cannot express how much my husband and children mean to me. “I came to learn how important my family is to me and I appreciate everyone for everything they did while I was bedridden.
“I did not feel like living or doing anything due to the pain I was going through.
“But I had my children and husband to fight the pain for and it was worth it,” Ms Driso said.
She encouraged all women to keep fighting their pain and cancer for their family and especially their children because nothing is greater than a mother’s love for them. She thanked her husband for being so supportive and encouraging, her friends and family who all helped them for her treatment and most of all to Fiji Cancer Society who funded and provided them with necessary things to ensure her treatment was well organised.