The Day I Became An Orphan: Sir Julian
Roman Catholic nun), as the quintessential “mother of all children”. My mother was always and everywhere simply addressed and quickly adopted as “Mum” by all my friends all over the world, whether they happened to be Judges, Professors, Prime Ministers, Ministers, Governors or humble servants. Wherever she went, my Mum instantly became everybody’s Mum.
Agnes Christina Sarju entered our universe in Lautoka, Fiji as the first born child of Peter and Philomena Sarju.
A devout Roman Catholic, my grandfather was raised in the convent by nuns when his own mother was forced by circumstance to abandon him when his paternity was traced to a British colonial officer.
He married his childhood sweetheart, a Catholic lass descended from mixed Indian and Portuguese parentage.
My grandfather’s profound devotion to my grandmother combined with their strict adherence to the Catholic faith blessed them with enough offspring to field their own soccer team!
At a time when the only perks of office as the regional health inspector for the western division was the provision of a government house and the exclusive use of a bicycle to transport him around, my grandfather didn’t have much choice in his frequent relocations and travel stretching from Rakiraki to Sigatoka.
Thanks to the colonial government, the disruptive effects of that itinerant life was compensated by the Sarju family’s ever-growing constituency of friends and acquaintances scattered throughout the isles and beyond.
The apple of her father’s eye, Mum was barely a few weeks old when the disastrous floods of 1931 struck the tiny township of Ba in western Viti Levu where her father was recently posted on promotion.
Mum survived that calamity, which had claimed more than 225 lives, by being perched high up on a ledge in the kitchen of their government quarters.
Little wonder, then, that she believed in miracles.
Mum’s recollection of her formative school life traversed her daily rides on her father’s bicycle across Ba River Bridge and their subsequent journeys together, every term, aboard the free passenger train to and fro Sigatoka where she boarded at Saint Joan of Arc.
It was during her later stint there as a primary school teacher that she met and fell in love with my father, Joseph Richard Aloysius Moti.
Their romance was a joint enterprise of adventure spanning over a 65-year marriage.
They shared interests in sports, gardening and fishing.
Dad’s passion for both her and fishing was evident in the christening of his last boat as “Christina”, Mum’s middle name.
As my Dad’s mother openly confessed to all, the best thing that Dad ever did in his life was to meet and marry my Mum.
She is commonly accredited as the civilizing influence on the aristocratic Moti family which had more wealth than brains to keep it all together.
Mum’s entry into their kitchen with refined culinary skills and exotic recipes learnt from own mother transformed their palates. Karam Ramrakha still savours the taste of a simple meal she cooked for him when he visited our home more than 40 years ago!
Outside the hearth, Mum’s skills in needlework were equally impressive.
To this day I remain astounded by the incredible energy she possessed in keeping our family mansion spotless without any maids or hired help.
My habit of rising long before dawn to work was cultivated in the company of Mum since primary school.
In the pin drop silence of a sleeping household, I was content to study while she busied herself everyday preparing breakfast and school lunches.
Her partnership in my education extended beyond parental support and encouragement.
She read more than Dad and kept me on my toes with the breadth and depth of her knowledge of the subjects that I was still learning and later professing.
Mum was the true intellectual in our family.
She found time to do crosswords and puzzles in each week’s Woman’s Day and was still finishing the latest ones along with John Grisham’s The Rooster Bar in her hospital bed on New Year’s Eve.
She always amazed us with her faultless memory.
Mum remembered everybody’s birthday and spent a fortune buying and sending gifts and cards to make us feel unforgotten.
A seasoned traveler, she trotted the globe with Dad and me several times over and was, on New Year’s Day still able to recount her joy in attending Pope John Paul II’s mass at the Vatican, visiting Mother Theresa’s shrine in Kolkata and participating at Sai Baba’s darshan at Puttaparthi as the highlights of her journeys of pilgrimage.
London, Italy and India were her favourite destinations.
It was her absolute and unconditional love for her children which makes her irreplaceable.
She was the fountain of forgiveness and never uttered a swear word in her life.
Mum had a gentle, calm and dignified presence.
In her transition to grand and great grand motherhood, Mum will forever be remembered and treasured as the “grand old lady” possessed of youthful charm, a pretty face and saintly virtues, who reigned as the last of the Moti family matriarchs.
The sparkle in Mum’s eyes and her infectious smile made everyone melt with instant affection for my mother.
She took time to make everyone feel important.
For my part, I can honestly say that I never disappointed my Mum. She was the source of my joy and inspiration. Among the many messages of sympathy and floral tributes we have received after Mum’s demise last week, which my family gratefully acknowledges, are the following:
“Please accept my sincere condolences, and those of my partner Johan, on the news of the death of your late mother, Agnes.
I know how very close you were to your mother. This will be a terrible blow for you. I remember the death of my own mother in 1988. Nothing makes such an event acceptable except the realisation that there is nothing at all that you can do to reverse it.”
From Emeritus Professor Upendra Baxi, former Vice Chancellor of Delhi University:
“This is very sad news. It was good that you were with your mother when the call came. I lost both my parents at a distance. And I know, no matter how grown up one may be, the loss of parents remains an ache and a void that cannot be articulated and one never ever copes.”
From Chief Justice Sir John Muria, the former Chief Justice of Solomon Islands and currently Chief Justice of Kiribati:
“It is with deepest sadness that we learned of the passing away of your dearest mother. Rose and I, together with the rest of the Muria family here in Solomon Islands share with you these moments of grief on your great loss of your dear mother, and send you our sincere condolences. In faith, we know your dear mother now rests in perfect peace with her Maker. Our prayers and thoughts are with you on this occasion of your great loss.”
“I am sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. Expected and inevitable events are nonetheless stunning and require much time to adjust to. When both parents are gone, it is a defining moment. Who am I? Where do I belong?
Then I heard … that you yourself had been sick and require an operation. One thing at a time. Much to digest. I wish you strength and fortitude, and I send you my condolences and sympathies.”
From Ambassador Nazhat Shameem, Fiji’s Permanent Representative to the United Nations in Geneva:
“My deepest sympathies for the loss of your dear mother. I know your parents were very supportive of you in your most difficult times. Grief is very hard to endure. You will remember her every day I know.”
From former Permanent Secretary of Fiji’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Ambassador Robin Nair:
“So sad to hear. I am pleased I met her again after so many years … I am in Bahrain and only return to Australia on the 12th, the day of the funeral. Please accept my and mum’s sincere condolences. I know you will miss her immensely.”
From Honourable Mereseini Vuniwaqa, Fiji’s Minister for Women, Children and Poverty Alleviation:
“Isa … so sorry to hear … I pray that the good Lord comforts you in the knowledge that she is finally at rest. She has brought up a fine son who I am sure she was very proud of. Go forth and continue to do both of them proud in whatever you undertake on this earth. Much love and hugs.”
And lastly from Honourable Manasseh Sogavare, Solomon Islands’ long-serving former Prime Minister and currently Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Finance and Treasury:
“It is with much sadness that we learn of the passing away of the late Agnes Christina Moti who was called to rest on 2nd of January 2018.
Emmy, I and the children still have fond memories of the very close relationship we developed with late Agnes and her late husband, Joseph Richard Moti in 2006 – 2007 who decided to move to Honiara to support Julian who had been appointed as the country’s Attorney-General. “She was a down to earth, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, hardworking and caring mother who would stop at nothing to show authentic love.
“She was the tower of strength behind Julian, enduring State persecution, hatred and hardship.”
That is a representative sample of the tributes that have flowed from all of you to honour our dearest mother, grandmother and great grandmother.
Please accept our heartfelt appreciation.
There is only one person whom I wish to publicly acknowledge for all that he has done over the past 30 years, beyond the call of duty, to preserve and prolong my Mum’s life. Thank you, my dear friend, Dr Sanjay Ramrakha.
As I held Mum in my arms just before she gasped her final breaths, my last words to her expressed my genuine wish.
I whispered to her: “If there is an afterlife for us to be reborn, I would want again to be your son with Dad as my father and you my mother.” Tears welled both our eyes when she nodded, squeezed me tightly and left me an orphan. Thank you, Mum, for being both my mother and my best friend. I shall miss you terribly.
May your soul rest in eternal peace with our Creator!