JUST FOR LAUGHS

The Mystery Kitchen Utensil…

My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen. The mystery of the spoon/ spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale. It’s a pooper-scooper.

The Dumbest Police Calls in America…

From the police blotter, or, what a beat cop deals with every day:

• A deputy responded to a

report of a vehicle stopping at mailboxes. It was the mail carrier.

• A woman said her son

was attacked by a cat, and the cat would not allow her to take her son to the hospital.

• A resident said someone

had entered his home at night and taken five pounds of bacon. Upon further investigation, police discovered his wife had gotten up for a late-night snack.

• A man reported that a

squirrel was running in circles on Davis Drive, and he wasn’t sure if it was sick or had been hit by a car. An officer responded, and as he drove on the street, he ran over the squirrel.