Relationship and Sexuality in New Standards Booklet

THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS GIVES SOUND TIPS ON RELATIONSHIP AND SEXUALITY IN A NEW STANDARDS BOOKLET FOR YOUTH.

The LDS church’s new standards booklet for youths are in a three part series and it will be released in Fiji this month.

Parts 1 and 2 covered freedom to choose, honesty, language, dress and appearance, entertainment and the media.

Here’s part 3: Music and Dancing

Music has a profound effect on your mind and behaviour. It can enrich your life, be a source of inspiration and draw you closer to many good things.

Choose carefully the music you listen to. Pay attention to how you feel when you are listening. Some music can carry negative and destructive messages. Do not listen to music that encourages immorality or glorifies violence through its lyrics, beat or intensity. Do not listen to music that uses vulgar or offensive language or promotes evil practices.

Such music can dull your sensitivity to things that are good.

When listening to music, be courteous to those around you. Keep your music at a reasonable volume and remove your earphones when others are talking to you or want you to be part of their activities. Dancing can be fun and can provide an opportunity to meet new people. However, it too can be inappropriate. When dancing, avoid positions, contact or moves that are suggestive of sexual or violent behaviour or are otherwise inappropriate. Attend only those dances where dress, grooming, lighting, lyrics, music and entertainment contribute to a healthy atmosphere where you can enjoy yourself without compromising your standards. Question: “Does the music I listen to help me to have wholesome thoughts, language and behaviour?”

Friends

Everyone needs good friends. True friends will be a source of companionship, encouragement, learning, comfort, strength, and joy in your life.

Your friends will influence how you think and act and even help determine the person you will become. Good friends can help you be a better person and will make it easier for you to live a good life. Choose friends who share your values so that you can strengthen and help each other. The key to having good friends is to be a good friend to others. Show genuine interest and concern for others. Treat them with kindness and respect, and refrain from judging and criticizing them.

Do not participate in any form of bullying. Make a special effort to be a friend to those who are shy or lonely, have special needs, or do not feel included.

As you seek to be a friend to others, do not compromise your standards. Find friends who motivate you to do good things.

Set an example wherever you are, whether at home, at school, or in your community. If you are involved in a positive activity, invite your friends to join you. As you do, you can help them live wholesome and happy lives. Question: “What kind of friend am I to others?”

Relationship with the opposite sex

At some point in your life, the time will come when you and your family feel comfortable with you going out with other youths your age.

Going out with your friends can help you learn and practice social skills, develop friendships and have wholesome fun. Nevertheless, you should not go out alone with someone of the opposite sex until you have developed the necessary maturity. When you do so, be careful.

Developing serious relationships too early in life can limit the number of other people you meet and may lead to actions that would put your future at risk.

Invite your parents to become acquainted with those you date.

Choose to date only those who have high moral standards and who respect your standards. Plan dating activities that are safe, positive, and inexpensive, and only go to places where you can maintain your standards.

Be kind and respectful when you invite someone out on a date or when you accept or decline someone’s invitation. Be considerate as you express feelings or as you listen to someone else express theirs.

When the time is right, set a goal to find someone you can marry and with whom you can create a future family. Choose someone you can share the rest of your life with. Question: “How can I be a good influence when the time comes to go out with those of the opposite sex?”

Sexuality

Sexuality is part of life and allows for a man and woman to come together to express their love for each other, create children, and form a family.

Do not allow others to persuade you to think that sexual intimacy before marriage is right. It is not. Avoiding sexual relations at a young age will prepare you for a strong marriage where you can bring children into the world as part of a united and loving family. It will also protect you from emotional damage and sexually transmitted diseases.

When you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, treat each other with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. Avoid any physical contact that could lead you to have sexual relations before marriage. Be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage.

Avoid situations that invite increased temptation, such as late-night or overnight activities away from home or activities where there is a lack of adult supervision. If you are in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, be willing to leave rather than compromise your standards. Do not participate in discussions that arouse sexual feelings or in any type of pornography, and do not send revealing pictures of yourself to others.

Make a personal commitment to avoid being sexually intimate before marriage. Your words and actions will encourage others to do the same. Question: “How does establishing clear guidelines in my youth allow me to have a healthy and safe sexual life in the future?” TOMORROW: CONCLUSION