Work on revolution, not resolution
Arvind Mani, Nadi
This year I am going to lose weight. This year I am going to start my own business. This year I am going to learn how to speak Italian. This year I am going to go to the gym. This year I am . . . And the list goes on and on and on!
How many times have you heard it? How many times have you said it? Millions and millions of people will make New Year’s resolutions this year. And 99.9 per cent of them will either fail or just stop doing what they vowed to do by the end of January. That’s right most will not even make it through the month!
The reason most people fail is because they have not done the internal process first.
They have not looked inside themselves to see what is really holding them back. And if you do not look inside, you are sabotaging yourself. Resolutions are sabotage in disguise!
So before you can change your life you need to examine each one of the following points carefully. These are ten severe habits that work against us. .
So today we need to vow to stop the selfsabotaging and intentionally work to be happy.
Once we are happy, we can achieve any goal. That goal may be losing weight or starting our own business. We will be able to achieve anything!
1. Stop making excuses. We come up with excuses because they are easier than actually accomplishing our goals. But here’s the thing, excuses are just a waste of time. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9 per cent of the time are not even real.
2. Stop the blame game: When you blame others for what you don’t have or for what happens to you, you actually give your power away. Life is not about what happens to you, rather it’s about how you handle the situations in your life.
3. Stop your resistance to change: Change is good. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. There is a wonderful book called Who Moved my Cheese - read it!
4. Stop complaining: You are the only person responsible for you! So stop complaining about people, events and situations that make you sad, angry and bitter because the only thing can make you sad, angry or bitter is YOU allowing it. Plus no one wants to be around someone who constantly complains.
5. Stop trying to impress others: Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
6. Stop being a control freak: Give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street and just allow them to be, your stress level decreases tremendously.
7. Stop the criticism: My wife has a saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all”. So give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood.
8: Stop Judging: Stop judging, people, things and events just because you don’t understand them. Just because something seems “weird” or different does not mean it is bad or wrong.
9: Stop with the need to always be right: There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be happy?”
10. Stop trying to live your life up to other people’s expectations: Too many of us are living a life that is not ours to live. Some people live their lives according to what others think is best for them. It’s the life the media has projected. We ignore our inner voice, that inner calling. We are so busy pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that we lose control over our lives and forget what makes us happy, what we want, what we need. We all have just one life to live; we own it and not let other people’s opinions mislead us.
Make a conscious effort to stop all of the behaviours above. When you slip, acknowledge that behaviour and work on adjusting your thought process. We cannot change, fix and improve on what we have not yet acknowledged. So this year, forget the resolution and work towards the revolution!