Funny Jokes

A police officer

“Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?” - “No, not a soul, actually.” - “Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”

Dinner

Wife asks her husband: “Did you like the dinner today?“- Husband replies: “Really, Shirley? Why are you always trying to pick a fight?”

Stranded on a deserted island

Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, “Don’t worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.” “Really? Why do you think so?” “I owe the IRS five years’ worth of taxes.”

Hot dog

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he’s heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they’re going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two ‘dogs.’ The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend. “Which part did you get?”

Flipping popcorn

That moment when you want to be really cool in the cinema and start flipping popcorn into the air to catch it with your open mouth, but instead you get it in your open eye and the rest of the movie is just blurry.