Conservative Fiji

I MUST confess that I haven’t read The Fiji Times for quite a long while (it is a cardinal sin in my book, but Jesus told me it’s alright, move on with your letter). I generally read The Guardian these days. There was recently an article about a sex and drug scandal involving two MPs in remote Fiji that caught my attention. I had absolutely no idea about it as I spend most of my time dreaming about bikinis, but they said it was a really big deal in our “conservative” society.

My understanding is that a conservative society is one that prefers to stick to the “olden ways”. I wonder how far behind in time we have to go though when it comes to assessing what “conservative” actually means in one’s mind. Are we talking about the time before bikinis were invented, or the long and sinister era before the sulu jaba was introduced by French missionaries, amongst other ultra-conservative Europeans?

I’d love to get a reply from tavale Aiyaz in this column, but the gentleman is known to be extremely busy.

I am not sure that we want to preserve the values of Tanoa Visawaqa’s time... There is no place for deception, murder and violence in any society. My other favorite tavale, rear-admiral (retired) Voreqe from Kiuva, would probably say that old politicians were somewhat better, but go figure how his brain works!

As for myself, I am a rather liberal person, though quite “conservative” in my actual lifestyle. I could be described as a monk by some of my tavale in Naraiyawa due to my lack of interest for the pleasures of this world (in that I can actually relate to supervillain Brainiac as I find knowledge way more important than power), but I enjoy nonetheless watching bikinis every now and then on YouTube to cool down my brain when I can’t have a refreshing Fiji Gold with a lemon twist due to lack of funds (sadly I am not a politician).

By the way (if you must know), I prefer Somali or Namibian women wearing yellow bikinis, but I also like very much Malian women wearing orange or brown bikinis. In my opinion, Fijian women are generally not black enough to my liking. That’s the way it is. Jesus told me that’s OK get over it and just move on with your letter.

If you don’t care about my personal preferences, that’s alright. Just move on to the next letter and please leave those two poor ministers alone. We have more important things to do in Fiji than kakase... at least I do.

MATHIEU GILLES PELLETIER Nadakovu, Sigatoka