Why some people don’t fit in?
IREAD an intriguing article that said if there’s a second Buddha, it is Keanu Reeves. So now whenever, I read an article about him, I wonder what he is up to. In a recent interview actor Sandra Bullock helps us understand Keanu’s weirdness.
“When I first met him, I would spend as much time as I could filling a silence, just to feel comfortable. And the more I jibber-jabbered on, the quieter he would get.
“And I thought, I don’t understand what’s happening! He’s looking at me with eyes of confusion. He’s quiet. Did I say something to offend him?”
Keanu doesn’t fit into society. He’s an outcast, a weirdo, an oddball. He doesn’t fit in. Is his goal not to fit in?
I sometimes wonder if I am like that. I have an office where I spend time reading, writing and enjoying the blissful silence of solitude. I think constantly of teaching life lessons so people can lead better lives. I show up to make the world slightly better. It’s not deliberate. It’s just my way of being.
As the Group HR manager of a premium retailer, I had KPIs I needed to achieve. I could have done an excellent job if my boss (or bosses) had left me alone.
Richard Branson likes to emphasise that he never learned the rules of running a successful business.
It’s not surprising, then, that he never learned to fit into a specific style of leadership. Instead, his leadership style comes from learning from his own mistakes.
He constantly takes risks to see what works and what doesn’t.
But most bosses are not like that. Years ago, I read a book called A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses.
The subtitle was Dealing with Bullies, Idiots, Back-stabbers, and Other Managers from Hell. The sad fact is that the majority of people in the workforce have a less than perfect relationship with their supervisors and many of them consider themselves to be working for “a bad boss”.
But what can they do about it, short of leaving their job? This book gives the guidance employees so desperately need not just to survive, but thrive while reporting to someone incompetent, mean, unethical, or even worse.
Good leaders are the ones that stand out, not fit in like corporate sheep. Most leaders in large organisations seem only interested in micromanaging and making life hell for their subordinates because they have a manager title that has gone to their heads
Eli Broad, in his book, The Art of Being Unreasonable embraces “unreasonable thinking” which has helped him build two Fortune 500 companies.
By contrast, reasonable people come up with all the reasons why something new and different can’t be done, because, after all, no one else has done it that way.
When I came back to Fiji in 2010, after living in the US for 35 years, I was shocked at how much the standard of education had declined and quite flummoxed about why the ministers were so clueless about what to do.
They paid scant attention to suggestions for improvement and seemed resigned to languish in mediocrity.
Creative people don’t fit in. They are like square pegs in round holes. We can fit in and want everything now. Or we can be outcasts and want everything when we have put in the effort and earned the right.
But we do not get that right. And everyone loses due to the instant gratification syndrome..
We should try not to fit in. We need to be unconventional like Steve Jobs, humble like Keanu. Doing the opposite of the corporate sheep. Be yourself. Be a weirdo.
Will that work? Probably not. Has it worked for me? No. But then do you want to work for a company that does not value smart innovative thinking and feel threatened by creative and progressive ideas? Sadly most organisations are like that.
As for me I am not even able to get hired — even if I am willing to work for free. I offered to teach public speaking to the students at a university pro-bono, but the VC showed no interest. I offered to do it as a college, but was not accepted because I am not a Christian.
Two years ago, I saw a position advertised for a Hindi counsellor/ advocate for a crisis centre in Nadi. The job description read like the job was created for me. I was excited I would make a positive impact to solve a serious problem. I applied but did not get a response.
At the beginning of the 2024, the position was advertised again and it was the same story again.
It has dawned on me that I am not going to be called for an interview, let alone get hired. I am quite mystified and disappointed.
It is not as if I am desperate for a job and will starve if I am not hired. I just know it is a loss to the organisation as I could have helped tremendously in the egregious concerns they always pay so much lip service to.
I am just not a good fit. A friend summed it up succinctly. She said, “Arvind, If you want a job in Fiji, you should leave your brains behind.”
I can add something to her perceptive observation — you have to be proficient in the obnoxious art of brown nosing. But that’s not me - I am not a toady sycophant.
However, if you are one, here is a book that will help - The Art of Brown Nosing, by T.D King which reveals the rules that brown nosers live by.
But if you hate to suck up, here is a book for you - Don’t Start a Side Hustle!: Do this instead by Brian Page
If you’re an unappreciated, overworked employee who’s tired of the grind and refuse to be an ass-licker (hats off to you), this book is for you. It will teach you how to ditch the rat race. Because if you try to restore logic and sanity to the people who need it the most — to wit your managers, you’ll be a misfit.
■ ARVIND MANI is a former teacher who is passionate about quality education. He lived in the US for 35 years and was actively involved in training youths to improve their speaking skills. The views expressed are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect the views of this newspaper.