Overcoming addiction

YOU can never control everything in this world, but you can change to be the best version of yourself.

Phoebe Nukuao-Tawake believes this because it has helped her overcome what she believes is the worst that life has thrown at her.

Originally from Namuka in Bau and with maternal links to Lapaha, Mua in Tonga, Phoebe grappled with substance abuse in her teen years.

There was nothing she wouldn’t experiment with — glue, home brewed alcohol, spirits and hard alcohol and marijuana.

It all began when she was a Year 9 student at a Suva school. Basically, one thing led to another, and soon she became addicted to and even became heavily reliant on all kinds of poison.

To some, it appeared to be a kind of coping mechanism to alleviate stress, however, she was using drugs under the influence of peer pressure.

Phoebe was a straight A student from primary to secondary school, however, she was often called into the office for all kinds of mischief and her parents were constantly summoned to the principal’s office too.

At Year 11, her father advised her to drop out of high school and enrolled her at the Nasau Youth Training Centre in Sigatoka. There she obtained a certificate in basic agriculture. But despite her parents’ noblest of intentions, she maintained her habits.

“I have very supportive parents and siblings,” Phoebe says.

“Since I was the youngest, I always had my way with them, every time.”

Phoebe worked in supermarkets and cinemas but her earnings were practically party money. At that time, her drug addiction had deepened and she began associating herself with people of similar inclinations. She’d return home bruised and black-eyed; battered bones were the norm as she was a big instigator of brawls in the streets or in nightclubs.

The turning point for her was when her second eldest sister was sent to prison for something she did not do. Her third sister died a week later. She felt deep sorrow and grief from that loss as well as the added stress of her sister’s incarceration.

“To think of what my parents were going through at the time — burying their daughter — it triggered me,” Phoebe says.

She hit an all-time low at that point in her life. She suffered from insomnia, severe headaches, depression and hallucinations, and she attempted to commit suicide three times.

She became secluded and anti-social and retreated to the confines of her room. For those who knew her, she’d become a totally different person.

Then she was coaxed to see a doctor. Phoebe would never forget the conversation she had with the doctor.

He asked her if she would be interested in visiting the stress ward at the Colonial War Memorial Hospital. She reluctantly agreed, adding that despite the stigma of being a patient at the hospital, she would do anything to get better.

While there, she was reminded to be positive every day, and in a way, braiding seemed to distract her from the negativity of being confined to a mental hospital.

In between counseling sessions, she would braid other patients’ and nurses’ hair, and it gave her a kind of relief.

One day, her counselor approached her about starting a braiding business, saying that not only was it therapeutic, but it could become a source of income as well.

Phoebe now runs a braiding business and is currently undertaking lessons in eyelash extension and nail techniques. She also has a good customer base and hopes to open a salon in either Suva or Nausori.

“When I started, I would braid for free to market my talent. From there, I managed to get customer appointments,” she says.

Her business Facebook page is Fibs Braiding and Beauty Fj while it’s called Fibs Braiding 679 on Instagram.

Phoebe is also a Sunday school teacher at her church, Mataveitokani Youth Fellowship (MYF) circuit leader, a lay preacher and a committee member of the Valelevu evangelism team.

Phoebe’s story signifies two things; overcoming trials and tribulations and the impact of having supportive parents.

“Parents, please, no matter what happens, never give up on your child; always make them feel supported despite their failings,” she said.