‘Covidivorces’ and ‘Coronababies’

L'effet de la pandémie du COVID-19 sur la vie de famille.

La crise sanitaire du COVID-19 a évidemment des répercussions immédiates sur la santé et sur notre manière de travailler et d’interagir, mais elle risque aussi d'avoir un impact durable sur la façon dont sera structurée la société de demain. De la Nouvelle-Zélande au Canada en passant par la Turquie, le New York Times est allé à la rencontre d'individus confrontés aux effets de la pandémie sur leurs vies amoureuses et familiales.

In a matter of weeks, the global epidemic has transformed relationships, dating and sex. Weddings have been postponed, while divorce rates have reportedly soared in China as the crisis has eased. Lovers and family members are suffering aching separations as borders have closed. Prosaic choices, like whether to send a child on a play date, or whether to meet a potential suitor, have become matters of life and death.

2. The internet has emerged as a lifeline to millions of single people stuck indoors, enabling them to go on virtual yoga dates, attend digital drag queen karaoke parties or blow out candles at WhatsApp birthday get-togethers.

3. The crisis has spawned a new lexicon. Where once there were “blackout babies,” we can now expect a wave of “coronababies” and a new generation of “quaranteens” in 2033. Couples whose marriages are fraying under the pressures of self-isolation could be heading for a “covidivorce.”

4. Getting away with affairs has also become tougher. When a man from a small town in Santiago del Estero province in Argentina bragged to friends that he had a tryst with a former lover returning from Spain, they reported him to authorities. The entire town was put on lockdown March 14. The man later became the first confirmed coronavirus case in the province.

REDEFINING THE SENSE OF COMMUNITY 5. The pandemic is altering notions of community and urban spaces, with people across the world gathering every day on balconies to applaud medical workers, perform music and even run marathons.

6. Sean Safford, a professor of sociology at Sciences Po in Paris, who is locked down in the city with his husband and their 7-year-old son, said the coronavirus had upended the human instinct to come together physically during a crisis by requiring that people do the opposite. 7. “In previous crises like the terrorist attacks in France or 9/11 in the U.S., millions of people gathered in solidarity in squares or vigils as people have the desire to find community,” he said in a video call from Paris, speaking from inside a large walk-in closet he had transformed into a makeshift office, away from his family. “Now we are being told to turn inward and to self-isolate as the heroic way to be a good global citizen.”

8. In China, where the coronavirus forced hundreds of millions into isolation, the number of divorce applications surged last month in at least two Chinese provinces, Sichuan and Shanxi, the local news media reported, as altercations intensified between quarantined couples.

9. Dazhou, a city in southwestern Sichuan province, received close to 100 filings for divorce in less than three weeks, an official who handled divorce filings said in a video interview, adding that there was a large backlog of cases. One office handling divorces in Xi’an, a large northern city, created an appointment system to stagger the splitting couples while maintaining social distancing.

10. Zeynep Boztas, the Istanbul woman who is living with the husband she plans to divorce, said the coronavirus had sent her to the brink

The crisis has spawned a new lexicon. Where once there were “blackout babies,” we can now expect a wave of “coronababies”.

a mental breakdown. She had decided to separate from her husband of 12 years, a salesman, just two weeks before the city went into lockdown. The relationship had been tumultuous for over a year, she said, as he complained that her food was tasteless, mocked her clothing choices and spent hours sitting idly in front of the computer.

A STRAIN ON RELATIONSHIPS 11. They had tried couples’ workshops and counseling for the sake of their two young children, but nothing had worked. So she said she felt both relief and clarity when she saw that he had been chatting to other women behind her back. After she confronted him, he agreed to move out. “I finally thought that I would be free,” she said in a video call.

12. But when he returned from his business trip, he insisted on staying in the family home until the threat of the coronavirus outbreak subsided. “It is uncertain times; we should save money; we should be together as a family,” Boztas recalled him saying. Unemployed as a translator and eager not to further upset the children, she grudgingly assented.

13. Now, more than two weeks later, both she and her husband are fighting off cold and flulike symptoms that she fears could be mild forms of the coronavirus. She said the living arrangements were putting a big strain on her mental health, adding to her breathing problems. To avoid fighting in front of the children, they now exchange heated emails instead, even when sitting only feet apart. But she said her husband was mostly behaving as if nothing had changed.

14. “The other night he just got into bed like everything was normal and tried to roll onto me to start sex,” she said. “It was like a sick joke. It feels like the walls are crushing me and the ceiling is tumbling over my head.”

15. For single people, the corona crisis is bringing a different kind of challenge. After matching with a New Zealand musician on Hinge, a dating app, Morgane Clément-Gagnon, an artist and photographer, said she was giddy after the two began a video call: He was handsome, the banter was easy, and they shared a passion for the arts.

NEW LOVE 16. Eager to meet but anxious over the threat of the coronavirus, the two opted for a “socially distanced silent disco” date in a park. Sitting apart on a park bench, they listened to Celine Dion and Britney Spears, dancing and singing to music playing on an iPhone. “When he was indulging my taste for kitsch, fun muof sic, I knew it would be a good date,” she recalled, smiling widely.

17. After their date ended with an unforeseen kiss, Clément-Gagnon, who has been single for a year, said she wanted to see him again. But there were obstacles: Her sister had just returned from Australia and was living with her in quarantine. Meanwhile, the man wanted to return to New Zealand to be with his family before the borders were shut down.

18. The two texted constantly and weighed the risks of seeing each other again, the normal rules of courtship weighed down by reports of the virus spreading. In the end, she decided to breach her quarantine and meet him in a friend’s empty apartment, talking, watching movies and finding comfort in each other’s arms.

19. “Is corona making something magic with all of this?” she asked. “I feel fear everywhere, and in this unexpected meeting I felt no fear. Maybe this is the corona story that will die with the disease. Whatever happens, it was a beautiful moment.

1. in a matter of... en l'espace de quelques... / global mondial / dating rencontre(s), rendez-vous (amoureux) / to postpone reporter / rate taux / reportedly paraît-il / to soar grimper en flèche, exploser / to suffer subir / aching douloureux / border frontière / play date ici, ...whether to send a child on a play date… décider si on laisse un enfant aller jouer avec un ami... / suitor prétendant / matter question.

2. lifeline lien vital / single célibataire, seul / to stick, stuck, stuck bloquer, coincer / indoors à la maison, chez soi / to enable permettre / to attend assister à / to blow, blew, blown out souffler / candle bougie / get-together (petite) fête.

3. to spawn donner naissance à / once autrefois / blackout panne d'électricité (ici, réf. à la panne de courant de New York en 1965 qui dura plusieurs heures et aurait donné lieu à de nombreuses naissances quelques mois plus tard) / to expect (s’)attendre (à) / wave vague / quaranteen jeu de mots entre quarantine (quarantaine) et teen (adolescent) / to fray se détériorer / to head for se diriger vers; ici, finir par.

4. to get, got, got away with faire ce qu'on veut en toute impunité / affair liaison, aventure / tough difficile, dur / to brag se vanter / tryst aventure (sexuelle) / former ancien, ex- / to report dénoncer / lockdown confinement.

5. to gather se rassembler / to perform ici, jouer.

6. to upend bouleverser / to require exiger.

7. previous précédent / vigil veillée / large grand / walk-in closet dressing / makeshift de fortune / to turn inward se replier sur soi.

8. application demande / to surge grimper en flèche.

9. filing demande (de) / official fonctionnaire / to handle gérer, s’occuper de / backlog accumulation, retard / case ici, dossier / to stagger espacer / to split, split, split se séparer.

10. brink bord / mental breakdown dépression / salesman vendeur / to complain se plaindre / tasteless sans saveur, fade / idly sans rien faire.

11. workshop atelier; ici, groupe de discussion / counseling (US) = counselling (GB) ici, thérapie / for the sake of pour, pour préserver / relief soulagement / to chat chatter, discuter.

12. threat menace / outbreak (début d') épidémie / to subside ici, disparaître / to save ici, économiser / to recall se rappeler / translator traducteur / eager désireux / further davantage / to upset, set, set bouleverser / grudgingly à contrecoeur / to assent accepter.

13. cold rhume / flu grippe (ici, flulike de type grippal) / mild bénin / arrangement condition / to put, put, put a strain on peser lourdement sur / breathing respiratoire / to avoid éviter (de) / heated ici, houleux / instead à la place / feet pied (= 30,48 cm) / to behave se comporter.

14. sick joke mauvaise blague / to crush écraser, broyer / ceiling plafond / to tumble s'effondrer.

15. kind genre / to match (with) être compatible; ici, rencontrer / app = application / giddy étourdi; ici, sur un petit nuage / handsome beau / banter ici, discussion, échanges / to share partager.

16. anxious inquiet / bench banc / to indulge céder à, se prêter au jeu de / taste goût / widely largement, beaucoup (ici, avec un large sourire).

17. unforeseen inattendu / meanwhile entre-temps / to shut, shut, shut down fermer.

18. to text envoyer des SMS / to weigh peser (ici, le pour et le contre) / to weigh down alourdir; ici, mettre à mal / rule règle / courtship cour (séduction), drague / to spread, spread, spread (se) répandre, (se) propager / to breach enfreindre.

19. unexpected inattendu / disease maladie; ici, virus.