In a predicament

Dear Aphrodite, I am a 32-year-old woman and I am in a predicament. With regard to this problem, I know what is the right thing to do, but I am being advised to do the wrong thing and I have to admit that I am tempted.

Let me back up a bit. I have been living with the love of my life for the past seven years. We have no children together, but he has a 12-year-old who lives overseas.

When I was a teenager, I lived a wild life and I was pregnant four times. I never wanted those babies because the fathers were just random guys I had sex with. So each time I got rid of the pregnancy, but each time I felt guilty.

I subsequently met my current partner and this is the one time I did not get pregnant, although I would not have minded. In fact, I found that I wanted to get pregnant, but it never happened. About two months ago, I went to visit my mom—I am from a distant community—and I suspect that a relative put something in my drink and raped me. I have no evidence, except that I felt weird the next day and now I am sure I am pregnant.

I am being advised to pretend it is my boyfriend’s baby and just let it go like that. But it does not feel right lying to him. He is so good to me.

I am not sure if I tell him if he will want to stay with me and that is my biggest issue. I don’t want to lose him, but I really do want to keep this baby.

Nervous

Dear Nervous, I agree that you should do the right thing and the sooner the better. Your circumstances are unfortunate, but honesty is important in a relationship. And you will find it is just as important in the relationship you will have with your child.

If your partner is the man you say he is then more than likely he will not leave you. And for sure, he will appreciate you not lying to him.