He is over-protective and jealous

Dear Minerva,

I’m a young girl. I have a boyfriend and together we have a son. He’s very cute. By the way, I’m 21 years of age and my boyfriend is 24 years of age.

Well my boyfriend is kind of over-protective and I don’t like that. Whenever I have to go anywhere alone, he never wants me to go.

Minerva, I love my boyfriend so much, but he must not be over-protective and jealous. I know he loves me very much and we trust each other.

We always go out together; he’s not ashamed of me nor am I ashamed of him. We are lovers and we’re planning to get married soon, but I don’t want him to be over-protective.

I’m confused because if I’m to go out and I’m talking to a guy he would be jealous. I don’t want to hurt his feelings in anyway. I need your advice, Minerva.

Concerned Dear Concerned, I doubt your boyfriend began being the way he is yesterday. It’s likely that he was always like that, but you overlooked it because the relationship was fresh and exciting at the beginning and perhaps him being that way made you feel safe and wanted.

Now it’s getting tired because you probably feel stifled and you have now come to realise that he was not playing a role to impress you – that is who he is. You will have to sit down and have a long conversation with him to get him to understand that it is not only unnecessary, but you do not like it. If, as you say, you trust each other, then he probably had trust issues from his past and he may need help to get past that.

I guess you have to ask yourself whether it’s a deal-breaker and if it is then try to ensure you both receive marriage counselling before the wedding; it is important.