China Daily

I was often haunted by the fear of capture

- Fu Yaobo, a 50-year-old former official at a government human resources and social security office in Benxi, Liaoning province

My nightmare began when I embezzled laborers’ wages, although it was a relatively small amount. I invested the money in the stock market and planned to return it after making quick money. Instead, I lost the money, so I continued to embezzle funds.

At first, I thought suffering a loss in the stock market was my bad luck. By the time the money was needed it was too late to recoup the losses (Fu and his partner told prosecutor­s that they had embezzled nearly 30 million yuan ($4.5 million between them.)

I decided to end it all by taking an overdose of diazepam pills. But faced with death, I just couldn’t do it. Fearing being thrown into prison, I chose to flee the country on Sept 12, 2014.

Traveling via five countries, I finally reached the southern Caribbean state of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines. I lived there for 16 months, and every day was agony.

The fear of being caught haunted me. I fell into despair when I learned from the internet that I had been placed on an Interpol list of 100 Chinese economic fugitives. Some of my former superiors were sent to prison after being implicated in my crimes. I have been deeply remorseful since then.

At the same time, I was physically unwell. Gallstones, high blood pressure and a gastric ulcer never stopped tormenting me. I couldn’t go to regular hospitals to receive treatment because of the risk that I would be caught.

On Feb 1, I opened the door after a flurry of knocks. A couple of local police officers checked my identifica­tion and said I was suspected of illegal residence. Then two Chinese police officers approached and asked me, “You know what’s going on, right?”

I felt relieved. At that moment, I knew I would rather face jail than suffer the anxiety, ailments and homesickne­ss.

I understand that my feeling of remorse came too late. All I can do now is assist the investigat­ion, confess my crimes and hope for leniency.

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