Specter of racism adds to pitfalls of dating
It’s been more than a year since Henry Hou went out on his last date. The pandemic has made the 32-year-old pianist not only more cautious about in-person meetings, but more choosy about whom he dates.
Since the COVID-19 pandemic began, Asian Americans in the United States have faced not only the virus, but also what activists call “the virus of racism”.
Nearly 3,800 racially motivated incidents have been recorded by the platform Stop AAPI Hate since March last year, with most of them in California, where Hou was born and grew up. “Racism against Asian people has always existed; the pandemic has made those incidents more common,” said Hou.
As a high school student, he was asked by fellow students if he was considered handsome among Asians, or he was called “Yao Ming”, the former Chinese National Basketball Association All-Star, instead of his real name on a basketball court. “Those comments made you lose confidence and individuality.”
Hou believes the increase in anti-Asian racism has made it more difficult for Asian American men, who some say are considered to be less desirable in online dating preferences.
The researchers for a report published in November 2018 by Sage Journals, a global academic publisher, said: “We find that Asian American men, in particular, are socially excluded from romantic relationships. In fact, we find that despite the higher education and income of Asian American men, there is evidence that they are systematically excluded from having romantic relationships during adolescence and young adulthood.”
Another study by researchers at the College of William and Mary found evidence of gender-based stereotypes on the cultural and psychological levels. The researchers, by examining photos in six popular magazines, found Asian men were underrepresented in the pages of US magazines, which the researchers said renders them “invisible” in the media.
Hou, a user of several dating apps, including Tinder and Bumble, said: “I think it (racism on dating apps) happened a lot of times, but I’m not aware of it, because I could have been filtered out, or the app just won’t match me (with those rejecting Asians).”
Options narrowed
He used to be open to dating people of different backgrounds, but said he is now inclined to seek partners of his own race and culture. He recently subscribed to a new dating app called 2RedBeans, because the app based in the San Francisco Bay Area says 70 percent of its users are of Chinese descent.
“We have noticed a preference trend for the same ethnicity and cultural background, though no accurate data is available yet to back it,” said Q Zhao, co-founder of 2RedBeans.
The company said half of its users are in the US, with the rest in Canada, Australia and other countries.
“I think the pandemic has augmented Asian Americans’ sense of identity in dating. If you date someone outside of your ethnic background, there is a risk of being discriminated against,” Zhao said.
A study published in the journal Health Education and Behavior suggests racist rhetoric had a profound impact on how non-Asian Americans see people of Asian descent, based on data from 2007 to 2020.
Zhao of 2RedBeans said her company organized virtual lectures and gatherings for members to share their experiences, and users can report racist language or behavior.