Don’t be a Dundee! Reach your peak by channeling Alan
With the first two of the year’s four continental soccer jamborees reaching their denouement this week, it seems like a good time to ask: Is South Korea going to be a “Dundee United” at the business end of the Asian Cup? And is Nigeria about to enter its “Leeds era” at AFCON?
Now you may be wondering: “James, what is this gibberish?”
Well, dear reader, I am simply asking important sporting questions in a way that Nigerians or South Koreans will understand.
These odd bits of soccer slang are unique to their particular countries, even transcending the sport and entering common parlance.
Since the 1970s, there are few children, particularly boys, that have grown up in Nigeria without being referred to as a Dundee United, either by their strict disciplinarian parents or, at the very least, a classmate. It basically means “you’re an idiot!” But, how did such an odd barb come into being?
There are several theories, from some young Nigerian footballers being tricked by cheeky fans of a rival club, to another that posits Nigerian fans, enjoying a flutter at the bookies, were stung by the Scottish team’s exit in the semifinals of the European Cup in 1984.
The tie, against Roma saw Dundee’s finest win the first leg 2-0, only to lose 3-0 away in the second. Apparently, the result left a lot of Nigerian gamblers out of pocket, and understandably upset.
As good a story as that is, the truth is arguably better. Liam Kirkaldy of Nutmeg Magazine has produced the most comprehensive retelling of the tale, but in a nutshell, it started in 1972 on a disastrous club tour of West Africa.
Heavily paraphrasing Kirkaldy, the trip went very badly. United were matched against small, local teams, yet they managed to show up the woeful Scots.
The “Tangerines” enjoyed a middling start, posting a 2-2 draw with a team called Stationery Stores, followed by a 1-0 win against Benin Vipers. That, however, was the high point of the visit. Kirkaldy goes on to note that United went on to lose 2-0 to Enugu Rangers in front of 35,000 people, before drawing 1-1 with the Mighty Jets, and then “ending the whole sorry affair” with a 4-1 hammering at hands of a Stationery Stores side still fired up from the pair’s first meeting.
These were amateur teams, and local fans had expected much, much more from a top flight Scottish side.
Poor performances were combined with increasing tension in the Nigerian press over United’s attitude. Club forward Kenny Cameron publicly complained of stomach bugs in the squad, as well claiming the team had been met at the airport by “vultures and hyenas”, before suggesting that the team’s struggles were the result of disruption caused by the Nigerian Football Association.
The response was a predictably furious one. The Renaissance, a daily newspaper from Enugu in the southeast of the country, was so incandescent that it called for a public inquiry.
“Nigerians were treated to second rate amateurism. This is the level to which we are plunging this country. We need an inquiry, why did the Dundee come? For now, Dundee farewell. Forever, Goodbye,” the scathing editorial reportedly read.
Aided by the frothing media coverage, the phrase stuck and, thus, the moniker Dundee United was consigned to derisive infamy.
However, there is some succor for the 114-year-old soccer club. With the passage of time, the phrase has become so disconnected from its origins that many Nigerians use it without even knowing that United, or the town it hails from, even exist.
That may change should Dundee win the league this season, propelling the club back to the Scottish top flight, sparking another “Leeds era”.
The origin of this particular bit of South Korean slang is somewhat more esoteric, but that has not stopped it reaching the mainstream.
The term is used to refer to a period of one’s greatest success or popularity, similar to a heyday or a golden era. In a country driven by idol culture, it is often used in the context of celebrities’ appearances.
In everyday usage, though, you might invite a friend to binge-watch movies from Martin Scorsese’s Leeds era, or post on X about how power couple Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are enjoying their respective Leeds eras — you get the idea.
While you’ve probably deduced that the term refers to Leeds United, I’ll bet you haven’t worked out why.
I thought not. Enter now-retired attacking midfielder Alan Smith. While, many European soccer fans barely remember him, in South Korea, he somehow became the unintentional architect of a domestic pop culture idiom.
As weird as that sounds, there is a local connection, but it’s tenuous. It starts with midfield star Park Ji-sung joining Manchester United in 2005.
A massive boost for Asian soccer, Park’s move fueled a wave of interest in the English game. This saw Korean soccer fans become more familiar with other players at the Old Trafford club, among whom was Smith.
Prior to joining the “Red Devils”, a year earlier than Park, Smith played for Leeds United. During his time at the Yorkshire club — his literal Leeds era — Smith had some outstanding performances, scoring 38 goals in six seasons.
His move to Manchester United, however, was marred by injuries and subpar performances, as his prowess on the pitch dwindled. He lasted just three seasons at the “Theatre of Dreams”, finding the net a mere seven times.
In online forums, Korean fans began to compare his performances at Manchester with those during his time at Leeds. What began as a reference to Smith’s past glories gradually morphed into a catch-all phrase to describe any footballer in their prime, and eventually spread to encompass other areas of South Korea’s popular culture.
According to The Korea Herald, there was even a Saturday morning TV show launched by a local cable channel in 2022 called Leeds Era Once Again, which sought to help people recapture their glory days.
I have no doubt that both South Korea and Nigeria, going into their respective semifinals this week, will be looking to channel that Alan Smith magic, hoping to bask in the glory of a new Leeds era.
However, with the fine margins of international soccer, the worry of putting in a Dundee United performance will also weigh heavy on the heads of those that would wear their continental crowns.