JERK ALERT

“There was a hot new girl at work, so I took her out to lunch as a welcome thing. As we ate, I gave her pointers on the office politics, including a heads-up about how she should act around the CEO of the company, who’s a notorious jerk to new people. She was quiet, so I took that as a sign to keep going on about his quirks, like how he doesn’t want you to make eye contact or ride the elevator with him. When I finished, she said, ‘The CEO is my uncle, and he’s never acted like that around anyone I know.’ She picked up her bag and left.”