4 Words That Se­duce Any Man... Any­time!

‘I want you now’. This sin­gle sexy phrase makes him drop ev­ery­thing (pants in­cluded) and fo­cus all at­ten­tion on you. But you need to work it care­fully.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - LOVE & LUST - By Bethany Heit­man

Whis­per­ing al­most any naughty line to a guy is the sex­ual equiv­a­lent of 3-D glasses—it height­ens the en­tire ex­pe­ri­ence for him. But af­ter talk­ing to a bunch of men re­cently, we learned there are four spe­cific words ev­ery man longs to hear the most. The phrase that un­leashes his lust? ‘I want you now’. We asked ex­perts why that is, and here they ex­plain the rea­sons...

It Shocks the Hell Out of Him

Hear­ing those words when you’re un­zip­ping his pants or ag­gres­sively push­ing him down on the bed does mind-melt­ing things to a guy, sure, but if ut­tered some­place com­pletely in­nocu­ous, like the park, they are even hot­ter.

“That line out of con­text, when he least ex­pects it, trig­gers his de­sire in­stantly,” says psy­chother­a­pist Stephen John­son, PH.D., di­rec­tor of the Men’s Cen­tre of Los An­ge­les. “When a guy is erot­i­cally sur­prised, it ac­tu­ally causes his brain to re­lease en­dor­phins and neu­ro­trans­mit­ters like nor­ep­i­neph­rine and dopamine that af­fect his mood and put him in a phys­i­o­log­i­cal state of arousal.” In ad­di­tion, be­cause the phrase is so blunt, it taps in to racy fan­tasies that most men have about raw, spon­ta­neous, even an­i­mal­is­tic ac­tion.

Here’s the thing, though: you need to be strate­gic when you say it. You want that shock fac­tor, but then it’s also key to re­peat the phrase when you’re back be­tween the sheets to drive the point home that you’re ac­tu­ally go­ing to make good on your prom­ise. “If you whis­per the magic words when there’s no way you can have sex in the near fu­ture—as you’re walk­ing out the door to go on va­ca­tion with friends or dur­ing a trip with your par­ents—it’s cry­ing wolf,” says sex ther­a­pist Sadie Al­li­son, au­thor of Ride ’Em Cow­girl.

It Lets Him Know You’re in Charge

When you make that kind of sex­ual ad­vance, he reads it as your be­ing ag­gres­sive. This is es­pe­cially true if you re­peat the line in bed, be­cause it re­in­forces that you ini­ti­ated the night of fun. “Many guys’ num­ber-one wish is to be slightly dom­i­nated by a woman,” says John­son. Not only will your take-charge at­ti­tude rile him up, but you’ll also love what it does to you. “When a woman goes af­ter what she wants and gets it, it makes her feel pow­er­ful,” says Al­li­son. “And power is very erotic.”

Fi­nally, it can be easy to for­get that dudes need to feel de­sired as well. When you say those words, it tells him just that. “Men are so­cialised and trained to let women know how hot they are,” says War­ren Far­rell, PH.D., au­thor of Why Men Are The Way They Are. “Guys want that too—they want to know that it’s not just sex she wants; it’s him. With this, you’re im­ply­ing that you want him so badly, you can’t wait... and hon­estly, that makes him feel like a god.”

Are­cent Pew Re­search Cen­ter sur­vey on mar­riage in Amer­ica asked what qual­i­ties make some­one a de­sir­able part­ner. Ready for this? 90 per­cent of men re­sponded ‘Be­ing a good mother’ (and that was the top re­sponse). Ex­perts say that on an in­stinc­tual level, guys are driven to hunt for some­one with whom they could see them­selves hav­ing kids. And this also holds true for men who are nowhere near ready for bot­tles.

“Find­ing a mate to pass along your DNA is a pri­mal hu­man im­pulse,” says Mered­ith Small, PH.D., pro­fes­sor of an­thro­pol­ogy at Cor­nell Univer­sity and au­thor of Our Ba­bies, Our­selves: How Bi­ol­ogy And Cul­ture Shape the Way We Par­ent. “A man nat­u­rally re­sponds to those bi­o­log­i­cal urges by mov­ing for­ward with a woman who will po­ten­tially be able to raise his chil­dren, even if he doesn’t want kids soon—or ever.”

So then what, ex­actly, tips off a guy that the woman he’s cur­rently bar hop­ping with or tak­ing out for din­ner and a movie will be great mommy ma­te­rial in the fu­ture? It’s ac­tu­ally sur­pris­ing lit­tle be­hav­iours that tell men a whole lot, ac­cord­ing to ex­perts. They high­light the three big­gies here...

You Don’t Flip Out If You Lose Your Cell

It’s hard not to have a mini melt­down when you re­alise you left your Black­berry in a bar or ex­pe­ri­ence some other set­back, like driv­ing an hour in the wrong di­rec­tion. But keep­ing cool is an in­di­ca­tor you can han­dle more try­ing stuff, in­clud­ing the in­evitable ups and downs that hap­pen once you have a cou­ple of an­kle-biters.

“It’s fun­da­men­tal to in­fant sur­vival that a mother be able to re­act calmly and think on her feet in a cri­sis sit­u­a­tion,” Small says. Back in pre­his­toric times, she would need to have the where­withal to grab the kids and run from a preda­tor—be­com­ing hys­ter­i­cal would quite lit­er­ally be the kiss of death. And it’s just as im­por­tant to­day: show­ing you can stay level-headed when mi­nor things go wrong proves to him that you’re a strong, ca­pa­ble woman he can trust with the kid­dies.

You Can Sense If Some­thing’s Wrong with Your Lover Boy

One sim­i­lar­ity be­tween men and ba­bies: nei­ther is awe­some at ver­bal­is­ing what’s go­ing on with them. So to fig­ure it out, you have to be a pro at in­ter­pret­ing sub­tle changes in their fa­cial ex­pres­sions, body lan­guage, and tone of voice.

“Men go for women who are per­cep­tive, like those who no­tice tiny vari­a­tions in a per­son’s be­hav­iour and mood,” Small ex­plains. “If you can pick up on how some­one feels with­out their telling you, it’s a sign that you’ll prob­a­bly also be able to recog­nise a baby’s needs, such as whether she is cry­ing be­cause she’s hun­gry or be­cause she’s tired.”

You Tell Him Funny, In­ter­est­ing Sto­ries About Your Day

“En­gag­ing sto­ry­telling is how moth­ers through­out the ages have passed down tra­di­tions, ex­plained cul­tural be­liefs, and re­layed the dos and don’ts of the com­mu­nity to their chil­dren,” says

an­thro­pol­o­gist He­len Fisher, PH.D., au­thor of Why Him? Why Her? How To Find And Keep Last­ing Love.

A mom who gives a good chat also teaches her munch kins so­cial skills, helps them learn how to ex­press them­selves ef­fec­tively, and gives them an edge later in life (stud­ies have shown that the more par­ents con­verse with their chil­dren, the more suc­cess­ful and well-de­vel­oped they will be­come). Les­son: don’t be afraid to talk.

Warn­ing: This Word Sets Off Alarm Bells

What bet­ter way to show him you’re mama ma­te­rial than by ca­su­ally talk­ing about how you’d like kids some­day, right? But drop­ping the word ‘baby’ too soon will freak him out. “Men in­ter­pret con­ver­sa­tions about chil­dren as one gi­ant dot­ted line you want them to sign on,” says Seth Mey­ers, Psy. d., au­thor of Dr Seth’s Love Pre­scrip­tion. “Even if he in­tends to have kids, men­tion­ing it be­fore he’s ready of­ten makes a guy feel boxed in and can bring out fears about in­ti­macy.”

Of course, even­tu­ally you want to be sure you’re on the same page. “Broach the topic or­gan­i­cally, like in the con­text of dis­cussing your birth­day,” Mey­ers says. “Just avoid fixed time­lines and emo­tional lan­guage.” In­stead of “I want to have a kid by the time I turn 30,” try “Next year, I’ll be 30, and I’m start­ing to think about hav­ing kids at some point.”

Only prob­lem was, she was al­ler­gic to

flow­ers

THOSE WORDS TAP IN TO RACY FAN­TASIES THAT MOST MEN HAVE ABOUT RAW, AN­I­MAL­IS­TIC

AC­TION.

And that’s ex­actly why he wished she’d or­der

her own dish

She’d re­ally

en­joyed paint­ing that

trash can

That taught her never to buy 6-inch heels again

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India

© PressReader. All rights reserved.