Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back.
Q. I’ve been dating a guy for five months, and he just let it slip that he slept with a girl a few months after we met. I thought a relationship is exclusive after you’ve had sex a couple of times?!
A. Generally, no. Most guys think it’s okay to sleep with other women until they specifically agree to stop. That’s why it’s so important to have the exclusivity conversation. If you don’t, he’s likely either to be oblivious to what you’re thinking, or take advantage of the fact that it’s not cheating since he never said he’d be exclusive. When you bring up the topic is your call; it could be after sleeping together a couple of times, 10 times, or zero times, because you don’t want to have sex if he’s hooking up with others. Just have the conversation outside the bedroom, and make it a discussion, not an ultimatum. Try, “I’d like us to stop seeing other people. How do you feel about that?” If he isn’t on the same page, it doesn’t mean he never will be. But a guy who has no interest in a serious relationship with you would break things off at this point to avoid any further messiness.
Q. What’s the hottest new trend in tights?
A. Lurex tights—aka the sparkly ones—are huge right now. Wear gold or silver with an Lbd—they’re versatile enough to fly during the day and at night. Another hot ‘tights trend’ is embellished ones. Look for ones with crystals or rock-glam embellishment.
Q. I have a crush on a taken guy. Should I make a move?
A. It depends—you don’t want to lower yourself to home-wrecker status over a random crush. But if you’re convinced he could be the love of your life, tell him, “I would never want to break up a great couple, but if things don’t work out, let me know”. You have done your best to make sure you don’t feel guilty about breaking a relationship even though you fell in love with a committed guy. Worst-case scenario: he brushes you off. Best-case: he isn’t happy, and you give him another reason to move on.
Q. My husband and I are both stuck in a salary freeze, and it’s taking a mental toll on us. How can we ditch our rut?
A. Couple therapists say to shift your focus from your cash issues to what it is you love about each other by finding cheap, fun ways to play at least once a week (hit a shopping mall, go see a movie instead of hitting a club, eat from a road-side eatery, enjoy a warm cup of coffee on a cold, rainy day, or just watch a play that has hit town). You’ll still feel poor but also lucky as hell to have each other.
Q. I have a job interview, and my face has broken out. Should I mention it?
A. Nope. Career experts say calling attention to a physical flaw makes you seem insecure, and employers favour confident candidates who can tackle anything. Instead, apply oil-free foundation, then set it with translucent powder that matches your skin tone.