Love Lies
so he could never sell his story. He’d instructed the actor to destroy all the photos he had of him with his lover, worried that his bisexuality would damage his chances of becoming a big star. I felt sad for my client who was unable to be honest about his life, but I soon learnt that things like this were not unheard of.”
Sandra Harmon, a relationship expert who’s worked with major Hollywood stars, believes celebrities are often forced to lead dual lives and keep their true sexuality under wraps. “Maintaining a fake relationship with a wife or husband and sneaking out to have sex with a gay lover is not uncommon in Hollywood,” she says.
Latino pop star Ricky Martin admitted in 2010 that one of the reasons he kept his homosexuality hidden was because some people in his entourage told him it would hurt his career. “Many people told me, ‘All the years you’ve built will collapse; many people in the world are not ready to accept... your nature.’ Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided (not to share) with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage.” So, is it possible to sustain a healthy relationship in Tinseltown? Very rarely, says Sandra Harmon. “Longlasting marriages and successful relationships are a rarity among the big stars, and it is no surprise to me.” Imagine how you would feel if everyone who saw or met you told you how beautiful you are? These celebrities begin to believe that they are so desirable and irresistible they can have anything—and anyone—they want. Beverly Hillsbased psychotherapist Dr Dahlia Keen believes many celebs would actually be far happier with a ‘normal’ existence. “A celebrity’s sense of self is often constructed on opinions of others—fans and critics especially,” she says. “But fans can be demanding, fickle and abandoning as they find themselves swept away by media opinion or the next big thing.”
Dr Dahlia sounds a note of caution to ‘wannabes’ anxious to trade their pedestrian lives for a shot at stardom. “Fame and fortune brings glory, but can also inspire many toxic effects,” she tells Cosmo. “They aren’t able to go out in public without feeling the need to look their best; they can’t go to a restaurant and let their hair down, or enjoy any privacy. And at a deeper level, celebs are in danger of losing their identity because everyone is always telling them what to do.”
And it’s this torment that leads many stars to find solace in drinks or drugs. “I have visited more clients in rehab centres than I care to remember,” Amanda sighs. Ultimately, people can only take so much pressure to be perfect. It’s a very, very hard way to live.”
So, it’s settled then. They can keep their glam existence...but if they’d like to share the contents of their shoe closets, that’ll be just fine.
*Some names changed on request.