Love Lies

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -

so he could never sell his story. He’d in­structed the ac­tor to de­stroy all the pho­tos he had of him with his lover, wor­ried that his bi­sex­u­al­ity would dam­age his chances of be­com­ing a big star. I felt sad for my client who was un­able to be hon­est about his life, but I soon learnt that things like this were not un­heard of.”

San­dra Har­mon, a re­la­tion­ship ex­pert who’s worked with ma­jor Hol­ly­wood stars, be­lieves celebri­ties are of­ten forced to lead dual lives and keep their true sex­u­al­ity un­der wraps. “Main­tain­ing a fake re­la­tion­ship with a wife or hus­band and sneak­ing out to have sex with a gay lover is not un­com­mon in Hol­ly­wood,” she says.

Latino pop star Ricky Martin ad­mit­ted in 2010 that one of the rea­sons he kept his ho­mo­sex­u­al­ity hid­den was be­cause some peo­ple in his en­tourage told him it would hurt his ca­reer. “Many peo­ple told me, ‘All the years you’ve built will col­lapse; many peo­ple in the world are not ready to ac­cept... your na­ture.’ Be­cause all this ad­vice came from peo­ple who I love dearly, I de­cided (not to share) with the world my en­tire truth. Al­low­ing my­self to be se­duced by fear and in­se­cu­rity be­came a self-ful­fill­ing prophecy of sab­o­tage.” So, is it pos­si­ble to sus­tain a healthy re­la­tion­ship in Tin­sel­town? Very rarely, says San­dra Har­mon. “Lon­glast­ing mar­riages and suc­cess­ful re­la­tion­ships are a rar­ity among the big stars, and it is no sur­prise to me.” Imag­ine how you would feel if ev­ery­one who saw or met you told you how beau­ti­ful you are? These celebri­ties be­gin to be­lieve that they are so de­sir­able and ir­re­sistible they can have any­thing—and any­one—they want. Bev­erly Hills­based psy­chother­a­pist Dr Dahlia Keen be­lieves many celebs would ac­tu­ally be far hap­pier with a ‘nor­mal’ ex­is­tence. “A celebrity’s sense of self is of­ten con­structed on opin­ions of oth­ers—fans and crit­ics es­pe­cially,” she says. “But fans can be de­mand­ing, fickle and aban­don­ing as they find them­selves swept away by me­dia opin­ion or the next big thing.”

Dr Dahlia sounds a note of cau­tion to ‘wannabes’ anx­ious to trade their pedes­trian lives for a shot at star­dom. “Fame and for­tune brings glory, but can also in­spire many toxic ef­fects,” she tells Cosmo. “They aren’t able to go out in public with­out feel­ing the need to look their best; they can’t go to a res­tau­rant and let their hair down, or en­joy any privacy. And at a deeper level, celebs are in dan­ger of los­ing their iden­tity be­cause ev­ery­one is al­ways telling them what to do.”

And it’s this tor­ment that leads many stars to find so­lace in drinks or drugs. “I have vis­ited more clients in re­hab cen­tres than I care to re­mem­ber,” Amanda sighs. Ul­ti­mately, peo­ple can only take so much pres­sure to be per­fect. It’s a very, very hard way to live.”

So, it’s set­tled then. They can keep their glam ex­is­tence...but if they’d like to share the con­tents of their shoe clos­ets, that’ll be just fine.

*Some names changed on re­quest.

Char­lie Sheen’s 36hour drink­ing binge left him hos­pi­talised Shahid and Ka­reena’s MMS scan­dal caused a me­dia frenzy Hugh Grant hits back at a pa­parazzo in­vad­ing his privacy Ash was se­verely rep­ri­manded by the fash po­lice for her poor choices

Demi Moore’s public break-up led to some se­ri­ous

weight loss

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