What to Do Ghosts When a Gu y

Ghost­ing is when a guy pulls back...or just dis­ap­pears.pp Rude. But de­pend­ingp g on how youy playp y it, you may be able to turn things around.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - MEN & YOU - By Jes­sica Knoll RULE #1

You’re get­ting on sooo well. Then he van­ishes, and you’re left to ob­sess over how some­one you felt such a con­nec­tion to could have done a 180.

“There are sev­eral ex­pla­na­tions,” says Jenn Ber­man, PH.D., host of The Love and Sex Show With Dr Jenn on Cosmo Ra­dio. “He could be crazed at work or un­der the im­pres­sion that you’re not into him, or, worst sce­nario, he’s not in­ter­ested.”

Text him on the off chance he is busy or needs en­cour­age­ment. If you don’t get an en­thu­si­as­tic re­sponse within 24 hours, delete his info. “Never put in more than you’re get­ting at the be­gin­ning,” says Seth Mey­ers, PH.D., au­thor of Dr Seth’s Love Pre­scrip­tion. “If he’s in­ter­ested, he’ll make the ef­fort to be with you.”



HIM! If you’ve been see­ing each other for three to six months, he can’t ex­actly get away with go­ing silent on you. So ghost­ing is more sub­tle. He may start back­ing out of plans and act­ing aloof.

“A ‘switch’ oc­curs around this time,” ex­plains Ber­man. “The chase is over, he’s got­ten you, so he pulls back and won­ders if he re­ally wants this.”

If you are into this guy and want to try to sal­vage things, your best plan of at­tack is to back off the re­la­tion­ship and fo­cus on your own hap­pi­ness. “Keep your sched­ule busy,” ad­vises Ber­man. “If he wants to get to­gether, be warm and friendly as you say, ‘I’d love to, but I have plans this week­end’.” This sig­nals to him that you have a full life and makes him re­alise, ‘Wow, I want to be a part of that, so I bet­ter not screw this up’. It’s hurt­ful when, even though you still spend a lot of time to­gether, you feel him pulling away.

One year is a mile­stone that may trig­ger him to ask, ‘Is she the one I want to go the long haul with?’ If he is un­sure and has no clue how to deal with that con­fu­sion, he’s likely to stop be­ing as emo­tion­ally open to you.

Ber­man sug­gests say­ing, “I’m sens­ing that you’re feel­ing over­whelmed, but I trust we have a good thing go­ing here.” Then hang back—the right guy will re-in­vest in the re­la­tion­ship. If he doesn’t, it’s time to take a break. It sucks to let go of some­one you’ve in­vested in, but your pri­or­ity should be mak­ing sure your needs are met.

His cape would make the per­fect Fash­ion Week out­fit

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