What to Do Ghosts When a Gu y
Ghosting is when a guy pulls back...or just disappears.pp Rude. But dependingp g on how youy playp y it, you may be able to turn things around.
You’re getting on sooo well. Then he vanishes, and you’re left to obsess over how someone you felt such a connection to could have done a 180.
“There are several explanations,” says Jenn Berman, PH.D., host of The Love and Sex Show With Dr Jenn on Cosmo Radio. “He could be crazed at work or under the impression that you’re not into him, or, worst scenario, he’s not interested.”
Text him on the off chance he is busy or needs encouragement. If you don’t get an enthusiastic response within 24 hours, delete his info. “Never put in more than you’re getting at the beginning,” says Seth Meyers, PH.D., author of Dr Seth’s Love Prescription. “If he’s interested, he’ll make the effort to be with you.”
ONE GIVE HIM JUST
CHANCE TO REAPPEAR. THEN EXORCISE
HIM! If you’ve been seeing each other for three to six months, he can’t exactly get away with going silent on you. So ghosting is more subtle. He may start backing out of plans and acting aloof.
“A ‘switch’ occurs around this time,” explains Berman. “The chase is over, he’s gotten you, so he pulls back and wonders if he really wants this.”
If you are into this guy and want to try to salvage things, your best plan of attack is to back off the relationship and focus on your own happiness. “Keep your schedule busy,” advises Berman. “If he wants to get together, be warm and friendly as you say, ‘I’d love to, but I have plans this weekend’.” This signals to him that you have a full life and makes him realise, ‘Wow, I want to be a part of that, so I better not screw this up’. It’s hurtful when, even though you still spend a lot of time together, you feel him pulling away.
One year is a milestone that may trigger him to ask, ‘Is she the one I want to go the long haul with?’ If he is unsure and has no clue how to deal with that confusion, he’s likely to stop being as emotionally open to you.
Berman suggests saying, “I’m sensing that you’re feeling overwhelmed, but I trust we have a good thing going here.” Then hang back—the right guy will re-invest in the relationship. If he doesn’t, it’s time to take a break. It sucks to let go of someone you’ve invested in, but your priority should be making sure your needs are met.
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