PLAYING DEAD

“My girlfriend’s place always makes lots of noises at night, because it’s an old building. But one night in bed we heard even more creaks than usual, and sounded like someone downstairs. I didn’t fancy going down to see so I pretended to be fast asleep—even when my girlfriend tried to poke me awake. I stayed totally still until she went downstairs on her own. She even took a highheeled shoe with her for protection, but found nothing. I know I’m a bad boyfriend, but I hate confrontation and I’d have been terrified if it had been a burglar.”