So You Be­haved Like a Crazy Chick!!! ( NOW WHAT?)

It hap­pens to the best of us—you mo­men­tar­ily lose your cool in front of your BF, and now he’s half-con­vinced you’re a bunny boiler. Here’s how to as­sure him that you’re still the (sane) per­son he fell for.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU - By Jes­sica Knoll

You Go Neu­rotic Nancy on Him

He’s just plopped your filthy suit­case—which you’ve dragged through some grime-cov­ered city streets—on top of your brand new dry-clean-only bed cover. Or he used mouldy to­ma­toes to make din­ner. Not cool. But then nei­ther was your sud­den trans­for­ma­tion into a fire-breath­ing, germa­phobe dragon de­mand­ing that your en­tire apart­ment be put un­der quar­an­tine. In his mind, that small faux-pas does not war­rant a fit. And now he’s ques­tion­ing your san­ity. Here’s what you do: once you’ve calmed down, ad­mit you made too big of a deal out of it—then care less. “Try to act more mel­low about things than you ac­tu­ally feel,” says Jen Berman, Ph.D., host of VH1’s Cou­ples Ther­apy. “That’s key to find­ing a happy mid­dle ground.” Eas­ier said than done, of course, but ex­perts say with prac­tice, you can achieve emo­tional dis­ci­pline. “Think of it as a mus­cle you’re train­ing,” says Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., au­thor of Seal­ing The Deal. “De­cide to take

three deep breaths be­fore re­act­ing to some­thing.”

You Get Gushy. Re­ally Gushy.

Uh, yeah. Af­ter too much wine, your sappy side came out, and you con­fessed that you feel so close to him, it’s like the two of you have one soul. Mor­ti­fied doesn’t cover how you’re feel­ing. Time for dam­age con­trol: “Pull back and let him di­gest your words,” says Berman. “Just be care­ful how you do it, be­cause men sense when you play games.” Fo­cus on your life (spend time with your friends; join a yoga class) to show him that you’re okay with­out him. But don’t screen his calls or can­cel stand­ing plans, which will tip him off that you’re pulling back be­cause you’re em­bar­rassed (not a good look). Also, don’t bring up what hap­pened—it will only dig you deeper into the hole.

You Rip Some­one Else a New One

Your go-to res­tau­rant gets your or­der wrong again, or some chick cuts in front of you in the line for the bath­room, and you fly off the han­dle with him watch­ing. Even though your wrath wasn’t di­rected at your man, it’s still off-putting. “He’s seen you lose it on some­one else, and he thinks: how long un­til that’s me?” says Kirschner. Okay, be­cause you are not re­ally an in­tol­er­ant, nasty per­son, you have per­mis­sion to fib. “Make an ex­cuse, a good one—you had a ter­ri­ble day at work, or you just heard bad news about a friend, and it caused you to be more re­ac­tive than usual,” says Kirschner. “If you can, apol­o­gise to the of­fended party. But even just recog­nis­ing your be­hav­iour will be re­as­sur­ing to him.”

His Friends Get Caught in the Cross­fire

Even though your sig­nif­i­cant other knows you rock, it mat­ters to him what his friends think about you. And since they only see a slice of you (and you’re new to the crew), you don’t want some ran­dom mo­ment when you snap at him to cloud their judg­ment. If it does hap­pen, your best move is to ad­dress it with them (af­ter you’ve smoothed ev­ery­thing over with your guy, of course). “The next time you see his friends, float it into the con­ver­sa­tion as nat­u­rally as pos­si­ble,” says Kirschner. Here’s your script: “Ugh, the last time I saw you guys, I had a bad day and took it out on Karan. That was aw­ful”. Don’t ex­pect them to for­get it right away, though. While your guy might re­cover from your tiff quickly, friends and fam­ily are gen­er­ally six to twelve months be­hind your re­la­tion­ship. “They don’t have as much to go off on, so they hold on to defin­ing mo­ments, like a bad fight they wit­nessed, for much longer than you do,” says Berman. Give them time and they’ll come around.

Yes, she was a lit­tle ob­ses­sive about those eye lines

‘What do you mean you broke my Flipn-Curl Styler!?’

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