Romance without making him feel bad?
A:
First of all, don’t worry about making him feel bad—he can take it. Instead, worry about getting your message across. Since it’s been two years, wait for a night when you’ve each had a couple of drinks (in other words, you’ve loosened up but not tripping over furniture), and tell him you want to make sure you guys don’t take each other for granted. Ask him if there’s anything he misses about when you first started dating or if there’s anything he’d like to tweak (and take his feedback in stride). When it’s your turn, bring up romance. That way, you’re not berating him for never being romantic—you’re letting him know exactly how to make you happy, which he’ll appreciate.
Q: Is it better for a girl to fake an orgasm or tell a guy she’s not going to have one?
A:
It’s best to do neither. If you fake it, he’ll just keep on doing whatever it is that isn’t making you have a real one. (And if he discovers you’ve been faking, there’ll be all kinds of problems because of his damaged ego.) However, if you simply tell him you’re not going to have an orgasm, what he may hear is: ‘I’m not enjoying this at all. You are less than a man’. More ego problems. So if you want to avoid that—or 20 unpleasant minutes of his trying in vain to make you finish— simply grab him and say some variation of ‘I want to come’. It gets your point across without hurting anyone’s feelings, and it sounds hot.
Q: For six months, I’ve been bullied by two workmates who used to be my friends. There was no big falling out—they just
A:
Anger is the other side of hurt. And it’s allowed. We’re angry on your behalf; let yourself be angry instead of hurt. These two saw your low self-esteem and shyness, and used it against you. Why? We bet it’s because you’re good at your job, your boss knows it and they envy you. Bullies don’t go for the weak; they go for the vulnerable parts of someone whose strengths they envy. Don’t let these two yapping women get away with it. Speak to your manager, who can involve your HR department if necessary. Or at least make sure your boss knows precisely why you gave in your notice.
Q: I’ve seen a couple of celebs work the monochromatic trend and while they look fabulous, I’m worried I’ll just end up looking like a big block of colour. How do I make it work?
A:
For the uninitiated, monochromatic dressing is basically wearing one colour (or shades of the same colour) from head to toe. It’s all the rage right now with Supers Heidi Klum and Candice Swanepoel and celebs like Penelope Cruz and Jessica Biel. The benefits? It’s an easy look to style (just pick your fave colour!); it lengthens your body (because there aren’t any obvious visual breaks in the outfit); and it helps streamline your figure, making it super-flattering. If you’re worried about looking too ‘same’, go with slightly different versions of the same colour—think jewel toned jeans and a top in the same colour family. And finally: don’t match your shoes and accessories —you want them to pop!