Ro­mance with­out mak­ing him feel bad?

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -


First of all, don’t worry about mak­ing him feel bad—he can take it. In­stead, worry about get­ting your mes­sage across. Since it’s been two years, wait for a night when you’ve each had a cou­ple of drinks (in other words, you’ve loos­ened up but not trip­ping over fur­ni­ture), and tell him you want to make sure you guys don’t take each other for granted. Ask him if there’s any­thing he misses about when you first started dat­ing or if there’s any­thing he’d like to tweak (and take his feed­back in stride). When it’s your turn, bring up ro­mance. That way, you’re not be­rat­ing him for never be­ing ro­man­tic—you’re let­ting him know ex­actly how to make you happy, which he’ll ap­pre­ci­ate.

Q: Is it bet­ter for a girl to fake an or­gasm or tell a guy she’s not go­ing to have one?


It’s best to do nei­ther. If you fake it, he’ll just keep on do­ing what­ever it is that isn’t mak­ing you have a real one. (And if he dis­cov­ers you’ve been fak­ing, there’ll be all kinds of prob­lems be­cause of his dam­aged ego.) How­ever, if you sim­ply tell him you’re not go­ing to have an or­gasm, what he may hear is: ‘I’m not en­joy­ing this at all. You are less than a man’. More ego prob­lems. So if you want to avoid that—or 20 un­pleas­ant min­utes of his try­ing in vain to make you fin­ish— sim­ply grab him and say some variation of ‘I want to come’. It gets your point across with­out hurt­ing any­one’s feel­ings, and it sounds hot.

Q: For six months, I’ve been bul­lied by two work­mates who used to be my friends. There was no big fall­ing out—they just


Anger is the other side of hurt. And it’s al­lowed. We’re an­gry on your be­half; let your­self be an­gry in­stead of hurt. Th­ese two saw your low self-es­teem and shy­ness, and used it against you. Why? We bet it’s be­cause you’re good at your job, your boss knows it and they envy you. Bul­lies don’t go for the weak; they go for the vul­ner­a­ble parts of some­one whose strengths they envy. Don’t let th­ese two yap­ping women get away with it. Speak to your man­ager, who can in­volve your HR depart­ment if nec­es­sary. Or at least make sure your boss knows pre­cisely why you gave in your no­tice.

Q: I’ve seen a cou­ple of celebs work the monochro­matic trend and while they look fab­u­lous, I’m wor­ried I’ll just end up look­ing like a big block of colour. How do I make it work?


For the unini­ti­ated, monochro­matic dress­ing is ba­si­cally wear­ing one colour (or shades of the same colour) from head to toe. It’s all the rage right now with Su­pers Heidi Klum and Candice Swanepoel and celebs like Pene­lope Cruz and Jessica Biel. The ben­e­fits? It’s an easy look to style (just pick your fave colour!); it length­ens your body (be­cause there aren’t any ob­vi­ous vis­ual breaks in the out­fit); and it helps stream­line your fig­ure, mak­ing it su­per-flat­ter­ing. If you’re wor­ried about look­ing too ‘same’, go with slightly dif­fer­ent ver­sions of the same colour—think jewel toned jeans and a top in the same colour fam­ily. And fi­nally: don’t match your shoes and ac­ces­sories —you want them to pop!

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