What Hap­pens When SEX You Act Out Your Fan­tasies?

An over­whelm­ing 90 of us have them, b ac­cord­ing to sex ex­pert Tracy Cox, mak­ing our fan­tasie real is quite a dif­fer­ent mat­ter...

Cosmopolitan (India) - - LOVE & LUST - By Mina Azodi

Whether it’s a sexy li­ai­son with David Beck­ham or a steamy en­counter with some­one at work, most of us en­joy sex­ual fan­tasies. Sex and re­la­tion­ship ex­pert, Tracy Cox, author of new book, Dare, ex­plains. “What hap­pens in our heads is pri­vate. If no one knows what we’re think­ing, there are no rules,” she says. But what hap­pens when you turn fan­tasy into re­al­ity? Tracy spoke to the women who went there...



Ella, 26, works in Ad­ver­tis­ing

“I had the clas­sic ‘sexy boss’ fan­tasy when I was a trainee to a hot-shot ad­ver­tis­ing ex­ec­u­tive. He was in his early 30s, pow­er­ful, mar­ried, and ar­ro­gant—a lethal com­bi­na­tion. I’d imag­ine all sorts of sce­nar­ios but they all had two themes: one was him declar­ing undy­ing love; the other was him lock­ing the door to his of­fice and rav­ish­ing me. Af­ter a few years, he split up with his wife and even­tu­ally asked me to din­ner. But when I got there, it was so awkward. I don’t think I’ve ever been more dis­ap­pointed: it was sloppy and deeply un­pleas­ant. We had sex, mis­sion­ary style, and it was over in about a minute. That Mon­day, I started look­ing for an­other job and left about two months later. It taught me a valu­able les­son: never ob­sess about some­one when it’s based on noth­ing but fan­tasy.”


Ta­nia, 25, works with a mag­a­zine

“As a beauty edi­tor, I go to prod­uct launches which are of­ten over­seas. This par­tic­u­lar trip was to Thai­land, and I was al­ready feel­ing very sex­ual be­cause I’d just started go­ing out with some­one and was hav­ing lots of sex. I was of­fered a full-body mas­sage, and the masseuse asked if she could mas­sage my breasts and my bot­tom, ex­plain­ing that some Western women didn’t like it, but that’s where all the ten­sion is. As the mas­sage went on, her fin­gers were get­ting closer and closer to my vagina, and then she let her fin­gers quickly brush over me. ‘Do you want an ex­tra?’ she said, her fin­gers now trail­ing provoca­tively close. I said yes and her fin­gers slid in­side me, oth­ers slipped be­tween my lips, a thumb worked on my cli­toris and an­other fin­ger slid in­side my bot­tom. It was so arous­ing I came in un­der a minute, but it just seemed to go on and on. As soon as I’d or­gasmed, though, I was over­come with shame and hu­mil­i­a­tion. I hon­estly didn’t know how I was go­ing to look her in the eyes. I wor­ried it counted as cheat­ing; I wor­ried she’d tell some­one and the other girls on the trip would find out. I never did tell my boyfriend. But over time I be­gan to see it for what it was: some­thing in­cred­i­bly sexy that I’ll never for­get.”


Mandira, 31, works in sales

“I’d al­ways fan­ta­sised about join­ing the mile-high club, so when my boyfriend of two months and I flew to­gether for the first time, I got the chance to make it a re­al­ity. He went to the loo, and said, ‘Quick, come in­side here with me’. On the spur of the mo­ment I went to join him.

But when I got in there, it wasn’t as erotic as I’d hope—and it smelt! We had (very cramped) sex but then heard voices out­side. Af­ter a few min­utes, a flight at­ten­dant knocked on the door. My boyfriend opened it to see a queue of three or four peo­ple, stand­ing there with arms folded and look­ing fed up. ‘My girl­friend isn’t feel­ing well,’ he said, but no one was buy­ing it. It was mor­ti­fy­ing! We laughed about it the whole week­end, and al­though the ac­tual sex was rub­bish, the thought of it was still un­de­ni­ably sexy.”


Pooja, 36, works in fi­nance

“My boyfriend of three years had been beg­ging me to have a three­some ever since we met and, even though it had al­ways been a fan­tasy of mine too, it took me a long time to be per­suaded. We took baby steps and looked on­line to see if we could find a girl who would be up for it. We got a re­sponse from a woman who looked pretty, sounded well ed­u­cated and had a sense of hu­mour. She said she’d slept with a girl be­fore, which was good as I didn’t want to be the one driv­ing the whole thing. When she ar­rived at our house, my boyfriend was jumpy and a lot more ner­vous than I was. We chat­ted stiffly be­fore mov­ing into the bed­room. I ended up go­ing down on the girl, who’d made no at­tempt to fon­dle me or get in­volved with my boyfriend. He watched sulk­ily be­fore storm­ing into the kitchen. I apol­o­gised to the girl, who then left, and found my boyfriend sit­ting with a big bot­tle of Scotch. He was an­gry, hurt, sheep­ish and em­bar­rassed. He said he’d wanted to pull out that morn­ing be­cause he’d got wor­ried he wouldn’t be able to per­form, and was freak­ing that I’d pre­fer to have sex with her over him and leave him for an­other woman.”

She’d been a Bat­man fan all

her iife!

An idea for edgy, new sun­glasses?


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