Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back.
Q. My boyfriend makes me feel safe and treasured, but he has a slight addiction to smoking marijuana. I broke up with him because of it; now he wants another chance. Should I give it to him?
A: There’s no such thing as a ‘slight’ addiction. Addicts suffer from a habit that requires specialist aid. It sounds as if your boyfriend is not an addict; he’s a social weed smoker. Instead of threats, offer help. Tell him he must stop smoking for his own sake, not just yours. If he still smokes after you’ve done your best to help him, and it’s a deal breaker for you, you’ll need to say goodbye.
Q: I’ve been talking to a guy for the past few months; we send flirty texts and exchange the odd picture. The problem is that he has a girlfriend. He never says nice things about her and he started our exchange. But am I wrong for not stopping it? I really like him.
A: You don’t like him; you are flirting with him. Liking takes longer and engages more of your heart and mind than flirty make believe. All you know about him is the way he presents himself and that he badmouths his girlfriend. So he’s not what you’d call a gentleman, is he? Please, cool it. You could be a distraction from issues with his partner. Back off before you are caught in the middle.
Q: I feel awful about my body.
I’m a good 25 kilos more than what’s typically seen as ideal for my height. Am I just being too hard on myself?
A: There’s a difference between being curvy and having a weight problem. Do you think you might be overeating to mask depression, instead of confronting life’s challenges or chasing your dreams? Push the cake away––face what you know you really want and go for it.
Q: I’ve discovered a secret account and a trail of daily e-mails spanning several years that my husband has been writing to a former female colleague. He claims she is only a good friend. While there is no obvious evidence of a sexual affair, there is an emotional intimacy here that makes me deeply uncomfortable. How should I respond?
A: It seems what you have stumbled upon is an ‘emotional affair’. This is the kind of extra marital relationship that can really erode a marriage. He may claim that they are platonic friends but the fact that he concealed the depth of this relationship is definite cause for alarm. If you think your marriage deserves salvaging, couples therapy is an option. However, if you feel trust has been permanently destroyed, you may have to consider the never easy route of divorce. You deserve much better.
Q: Mullet dresses are all the rage right now. How can I personalise them?
A: The key to wearing this trend is to understand that the high-low cut is striking enough. Avoid prints or patterns and go for solids colours. This sexy style is a big winner for petite ladies who have a tough time finding maxis in their size.