Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back. This guy and I started talking on FB. He has a GF but wanted to meet up. We ended up sleeping together. It’s been going on for a year. He keeps saying he’s going to leave her and that I’
A:
Whether online flirting qualifies as being unfaithful in a relationship is still an open question. But there’s no question his long-time girlfriend would be heartbroken to discover her man has been playing away from home in the flesh. That makes you his conspirator in the crime of her pain. And because you’re an honest person, you feel agonising guilt. Back off. Shut him out of your life. Be sure the next guy smells single before you let him near your bed.
Q: This year I’ve grown apart from my friendship group that dates back to school and college. They’ve stopped inviting me out, yet they still hang as a group—it hurts when I see pictures of them together on FB. I take every opportunity to make friends on my new job, but feel ignored there too. It feels like nobody wants to know me. Why? A:
To grow up means to grow into something new. The old gang still hang out together because they haven’t yet grown into something new. As for the people at work, allow plenty of time for them to see you are no threat to their established hierarchy. Meanwhile, befriend yourself. Invite yourself into new activities of, say, sport, art, or charity. Do things that make you enjoy the company of your grown-up self. You’ll meet other grown-ups who enjoy doing the same things and will enjoy your company too.
Q: I’ve been in a two-year relationship with my caring boyfriend. My dad passed away five years ago and I live with my mum and her parents, who are all very controlling. My 25th birthday is coming up and my family’s told me I’m not to see my boyfriend as I planned, but to stay with them on the day. I’m fed up. Help! A:
Any chance your boyfriend could join you and be included with your family on the day? Then they could see for themselves how caring he is. But if that’s too stressful for you or for him, why not organise a separate birthday to spend with him? It might be time for you to leave the nest. Look into sharing a flat with your friends (not with your boyfriend just yet). Announce your departure only after everything is in place. Make the split as painless as possible for the sake of your mother, who may herself feel trapped with her parents after being widowed.
Q: I love the idea of denim for summer—it’s a hot trend and it never really fails. I’ve invested in a nice denim shirt but how do I make maximum use of it? A:
Why not look towards Miranda Kerr for outfit inspiration. She loves denim jackets and shirts and wears them so stylishly. Layering with light fabrics like scarves, tank tops, and T-shirts is always a good idea. Wear your shirt over a maxi, with a skater skirt, or with leather pants—there’s a lot you can do with this classic. Experiment!