I’m happy alone—a man would only be a plus in my life. But I’ve started seeing a guy who is talented, funny, caring— all I could want. However, he’s had previous longterm relationships, whereas I haven’t. I want the times we share to be as unique for him

A:

Are you really happy alone? Or does being on your own relieve you of the insecurity of ‘feeling inadequate’ and unworthy of a boyfriend’s interest? A boyfriend may ‘only’ be a plus in your life, but does that beat a minus for you? So what if he’s had other relationships? His time with you is unique. Because you are unique! To doubt that means doubting yourself. Self-improvement outside any relationship is a good start to self-trust and self-esteem. How about joining a club or learning a new skill? And keep a journal—it’s a way of talking to yourself and helping you to know yourself better. Whoever else comes or goes, you’re with yourself for a lifetime.

Q: I broke up with my partner of four years not long ago and then I met this guy at work. We really hit it off. He took me out and sent me texts telling me I brighten his day. But he hasn’t made a move. Also, when we part he calls me ‘pal’, ‘mate’ or ‘dude’. What’s his problem?