I’m happy alone—a man would only be a plus in my life. But I’ve started see­ing a guy who is tal­ented, funny, car­ing— all I could want. How­ever, he’s had pre­vi­ous longterm re­la­tion­ships, whereas I haven’t. I want the times we share to be as unique for him

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -

A:

Are you re­ally happy alone? Or does be­ing on your own re­lieve you of the in­se­cu­rity of ‘feel­ing in­ad­e­quate’ and un­wor­thy of a boyfriend’s in­ter­est? A boyfriend may ‘only’ be a plus in your life, but does that beat a mi­nus for you? So what if he’s had other re­la­tion­ships? His time with you is unique. Be­cause you are unique! To doubt that means doubt­ing your­self. Self-im­prove­ment out­side any re­la­tion­ship is a good start to self-trust and self-es­teem. How about join­ing a club or learn­ing a new skill? And keep a jour­nal—it’s a way of talk­ing to your­self and help­ing you to know your­self bet­ter. Who­ever else comes or goes, you’re with your­self for a lifetime.

Q: I broke up with my part­ner of four years not long ago and then I met this guy at work. We re­ally hit it off. He took me out and sent me texts telling me I brighten his day. But he hasn’t made a move. Also, when we part he calls me ‘pal’, ‘mate’ or ‘dude’. What’s his prob­lem?

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