DO UNTO OTHERS...
In their valiant attempts to protect women against crimes, men tend to behave as though women are incapable of protecting themselves
In light of the recent attacks on women, security concerns have assumed utmost importance. Men seem to be divided into two categories: those who commit these transgressions and those who want to kill the aforementioned for giving the rest an indelible taint.
The trouble is that both sides don’t seem to understand the right thing to do. The culpable remain oblivious to the heinous nature of their crime, but what is even more worrying is that the other set of more sane men, if the word ‘sane’ can indeed be used here, also don’t seem to know what to do. Allow me to elucidate. There was a time when women walked the earth much like men did, but always with more flair, chewing gum along the way. Then times changed and unescorted movement for them became dangerous. Then there was an uproar and people wanted action. They wanted the government to show some results and wanted cops to enforce the law and to arrest the guilty. Men — the ones who had not been involved in any such activities — decided to step up and protect their fair friends too.
This is where the trouble began, for just like a smothering mother they didn’t know where to draw the line. Instead of just being available when said damsel is in distress, men have gone a step ahead and are there trying to protect women even before the crime takes place. Taking a cue from that Tom Cruise movie where they caught perpetrators before the latter committed the crime, boys now tend to pick fights with anyone whom they suspect as potential threats to a lady.
While this is a degree of security that not even the prime minister enjoys, the trouble with it is that it can be quite claustrophobic, even asphyxiating. This is because being over-protective is built on the premise that the party under threat is incapable of defending herself. And that is where my problem lies — assuming that women are incapable in any manner.
This is a classic example of a problem arising out of an attempt to solve another problem. But fear not, for once again I have a perfectly logical solution. Dear men, henceforth, you are required to only do for women what you would do for any bloke. If you see me standing on the road, would you randomly offer me a ride? No? Well, don’t to a lady either. Would you stop and sort things out for me during any sort of kerfuffle? Guessed not. Likewise with the ladies. The exact civil code of behaviour that you would adopt towards me is what you should deploy when around women . Conversely, if a lady herself wouldn’t stop to proffer unwanted help in a situa
tion, you shouldn’t either. In other words, if she isn’t asking for help, she doesn’t want your help. Sure, I am risking choking chivalry in the jugular, by suggesting this format but till the time men don’t realise what constitutes balanced behaviour, such caution will be needed. For even a cure, in excess, is toxic.
No lady minds a knight in shining armour — hell, I wouldn’t mind donning some armour once in a while myself — but the situation should call for it. Otherwise, you are just a man in a medieval suit making a lot of clanking noise as you clomp around stepping on other people’s toes.
The writer is a lover of wine, song and everything fine
Being overprotective can make things quite claustrophobic,
even asphyxiating