CHASING THE LAST NAME
THE BRAT PACK?
The young Gandhi is not alone in this “most haunted” list. We have Sidhartha Mallya still being hounded on Twitter for problems ranging from the collapse of his father’s airline to turning up at events wearing sunglasses. Anything goes when you target the famous kid — a somewhat sick, free-for-all.
In 2013, professor Suniya S. Luthar from the Arizona State University, released results of her research which claimed that children from well-off families were “far more likely to develop mental health problems than regular youngsters”.
Experts associated with the study also found that children of well-off parents were experiencing a major rise in levels of drug abuse, criminal behaviour and even eating disorders. “These children are expected to excel at school, in extracurricular activities and also in their social lives. They feel a relentless sense of pressure,” writes Professor Luthar adding that much of the evidence “points to one cause: the pressure for high-octane achievement”.
THE SURVIVORS
But no other field hurts more than sport. And little Arjun Tendulkar, all of 15, and already a captain of a cricket team, is right in the thick of it. Dad Sachin Tendulkar has told the world to back off.
“As a father, I will say: ‘Leave Arjun Tendulkar alone’. I will say let him enjoy the cricket, don’t burden him with expectations. If I had such pressure on me, I would have ended up with a pen in my hands because my father was a literature professor,” the champ had famously said during his last press conference as a Team India member.
Others recall the not-so-kind world that’s cricket in India.
“When I was 15, I started feeling the pressure of a different sort. Delhi cricket was not what it is now and my father — an honest man — spoke out against what he believed were inefficient models of conducting business. I was at the receiving end of the backlash though… and much of the anger aimed at him found its way towards me. I, however, had a lovely time playing cricket, especially bowling. No one can take the joys of those maidens and wickets away from me,” reveals Angad Bedi, son of spin legend Bishan Singh Bedi.
“But I wanted to become an actor. You have to really believe in yourself, have the humility, the confidence and the will to make it. I plan to make it as the movie star. Sabka number aata
hai yaar… you just have to be ready when opportunity knocks,” Angad adds.
For a better picture of life under the shadow of a famous cricketer, we speak to eminent sports psychologist, Bhishmaraj Bam. “Some years ago the son of a famous cricketer, who himself is a coach, wasn’t handling the two jobs properly. And his son… the poor kid started envying the other children. Once during practice, the father was being especially hard on his child (as usual) and the boy simply collapsed asking why his own father was being so harsh. I gently stepped in and told the father to ease off. More importantly, I told him to stop coaching his own son. Not many can handle those two roles,” adds Bam.
The veteran specialist also explains why such children are often troubled. “They have an automatic handicap when they arrive on the scene. There exists a crushing weight of responsibility on their shoulders. And some are just not able to focus and keep those thoughts at bay. It’s called role segregation. You separate who you are, your past, your future and just focus on the present. That’s the trick. Also, cricket is a sport that involves sudden death. You have time to recover from a slump in tennis, badminton or table tennis but one bad series in cricket and you’re pretty much out. All these factors destroy careers. You arrive with pressure, you are unable to shake it off and the magnifying glass over you doesn’t help your cause either.”
MY WAY, MY LEGACY
Beyond the pressure cooker that cricket is, music and the arts form crucial case studies. Ambi Subramaniam, the 23-yearold son of legendary violinist Dr L. Subramaniam and singer Kavita Krishnamurthy, hasn’t had it easy — his first day with the instrument was at the age of three and his first live performance was at seven.
But the young master loves doing his thing, and has a certain maturity about him that can only arise out of solid foundations, not uncommon among such children.
“Because my dad and I play the same instrument, comparisons were inevitable. You just need to stick with what you love and what you plan to do. As you grow older, you do become more prone to ‘all that talk’. All that should matter is — you have fun and more importantly tell yourself this: There will be hundreds giving you advice, you just need to trust the person and pick the right tips.” Ambi is also currently working to make his own way in the world. “My sister Bindu and I have formed SubraMania and we’ll be releasing the tracks in the next few months.”
LAISSEZ FAIRE
Many experts have even described the tantrums famous parents throw during a game which involves their children. Some describe how the father or mother are almost manic in their rage and walk off in a huff only to pound the poor offspring with advice and scolding after they reach home.
“You have to give space. Look at Prakash Padukone… really cool chap. Deepika was a good badminton player but not exceptional, and he was absolutely fine with it. Later, she became such a fantastic actress,” adds Bam.
That policy of non-interference and healthy distance is what several famous parents have adopted over the years. Because it allows for what another badminton legend describes as the “perfect family balance”. This is Pullela Gopichand about daughter Gayatri.
“When I’m on court, I’m the coach. And when I’m at home… I’m the father. During practice, she’s like any one of the other students and there’s always that rule. I keep it so because what’s important to me is family. She’s too young to feel any pressure. But for now, I just want her to enjoy her childhood and I want to cherish being a father. Everything else can wait… nothing is more important to me than her growing up years.”
It’s not easy. We start lives with an inherent responsibility and it is even more difficult if we are in the same line of work.
AISHWARYA DHANUSH People feel we get things easily but that isn’t the case. And the minute I look at it as pressure, it’s going to hinder growth.
SOUNDARYA RAJINIKANTH