LOOSEN UP AND TALK IN BED

Do people talk while having sex? Some do, and some don’t. I tried to analyse both kinds of people and their opinions, and came up with some interesting insights.

EXTREMISTS:

There are those classes of vocal people who go all out to express their deepest feelings during sex. The very core of their enjoyment stems from communicating their every thought. These verbose types are of different kinds: there are the positive ones who appreciate and express pleasure (“I love the smell of your hair!”) and there are the negative ones (“Couldn’t you be a bit more gentle”, “Why aren’t you responding?”). Another category includes those who lace what they say with sarcasm (“Oh! Yeah! That feels like sand-paper!”). If the feelings are positive then they can look forward to an involved participation by their partner. But an extreme desire to express may also lead to sarcasm or negative expressions.

MODERATORS:

These are those who spout monosyllables. The most common ones are “Yes!”, “No!”, “More!”, “Enough!”, “Stop!”, “Please!”, etc. The most hilarious one, though, would be “Thank you!” This category also includes those who mouth profanities. While moderators are on the safer ground, they will still not make their partner very happy since they respond in monosyllables.

FUNDAMENTALISTS:

This set of people believe in ‘doing’ their job without any fuss or frills. Some function like robots and never deviate from their known taught path. Others simply yawn while the sexual act is on. People who don’t express themselves and treat sex as a mechanical act will have a negative impact on their partner. Learn to loosen up a bit more. The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at

dr.narayana@deccanmail.com