WELCOME HOME, MOM!
It is but logical for a daughter to care for her parents, not just her parents-in-law
A new petition on
www.change.org, is taking the Internet by storm, with 31,640 supporters already having signed it. The petition, which will be delivered to the Prime Minister’s office and the Union Minister of Law, was started by Hyderabad-based Sankirt Galande. Under Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007, both the son and the daughter are liable to take care of their parents. But in a patriarchal society like ours, a married woman is often not allowed by her husband and inlaws, to look after her parents or provide them with financial support. The petition mainly requests a clear amendment to the Act, making the son-in-law as well as the daughter-in-law responsible for both sets of parents.
The Supreme Court recently passed a judgement saying that the husband may divorce his wife if she doesn’t let him stay with his parents. Then the wife, too, should be allowed to divorce her husband if he doesn’t allow her to support her parents.
Former actress and animal welfare activist, Amala Akkineni, who looks after her mother as well, says, “I am surprised that daughters have to ask to care for their own parents. Offering to care for one’s parents is a wonderful thing. Of course, daughters can be great caregivers and it may be more comfortable to live with your daughter than any other person. But parents should be able to choose who they want to live with, in the family. Peace of mind is as important to them, as comfort and financial support are, in the later years of their lives.”
“In rare and extreme cases,” she continues, “I have known daughters, who imprison and terrorise parents as much as sons and daughters-in-law do, when parents get old and frail. Therefore, I do strongly believe it should be the choice of the elder to live wherever they feel most loved and respected.”
Agreeing with Amala, paediatrician Dr Kiran Krishnamurti, says, “It’s ridiculous that we have to even ask this question. This should not be a gender issue at all. My mother has been living with me and my husband for 31 years now, and he treats her like his own mother. I do understand, however, that people like me are a privileged minority and that in the typical Indian scenario it is not common. So, I think it’s the right time for the question to be brought up. I’m glad that the petition is being signed.”
Dr Kalpana Alexander, Gynaecologist, further elucidates, “My parents have been living with me for 25 years now. I think married women should be given the right to take care of their parents. What if she is the only child? Her parents may feel neglected and lonely. We should spend time with our parents in their old-age. Though I have a few arguments with my mother, I enjoy staying with her — she’s like a friend to me.”
Smriti Thapa, tarot card reader, says that the law shouldn’t be mandatory and the choice must be left to the families. “My mother has been living with me since a long time, but it was her choice to do so. A few parents may not be okay to live with their daughters,” she points out.
Dr Saroj Bajaj, a prominent social worker from the city, says, “Yes, it is important that the law is taken seriously, but it is also important that the daughters take care of both sets of parents equally. While supporting your parents, you must not neglect your in-laws.”
It shouldn’t be mandatory. A few parents may not be okay to live with their daughters — SMRITI THAPA