Second marriages are not exactly made in heaven, either

Changing man-woman dynamics makes it easier to question remaining in a relationship, harder to compromise

Lata (name changed) thought her second marriage would bring the muchneeded happiness for her and her son Rudra. But her new husband insisted that Rudra be put in a hostel. She hesitantly accepted. A few years later, Lata conceived again. Rudra wanted to be with his mother. Lata, who felt that she had wronged Rudra, brought him home. Her marriage soon came crashing down.

The story that Lata and women like her narrate is familiar. Looking for companionship and happiness, they take a second leap of faith despite it having not worked for them before. But the bubble bursts soon.

Advocates said such cases had increased dramatically in the last few years, as gender roles and patriarchy were shaken up. Relationships have become more volatile, the men are empowered domestically and the women financially.

“The chances of second marriages failing are higher when both partners have children from their first marriage,” said Ms Anita Shalabh Jain, an advocate who has worked on family cases for a year. In Lata’s case, it was the ego of having the ‘other man’s’ son that came in between her marriage and her husband. Most people marry again for companionship or under pressure from their family, said Uma (name changed), whose second marriage fell apart in three months.

“The Indian woman always has to live with the stigma of a divorce. Wherever she goes, that becomes a topic of discussion, and some day you give in,” she says.

A divorce may end in mutual agreement or in contest, depending upon the parties involved. If cases of cruelty, desertion, domestic violence, or dowry harassment are involved, the quasi-legal case could drag on.

A DIVORCE may end in mutual agreement or in contest, depending upon the parties involved.