Sexual Boredom
Rajan finds it hard to rise to the occasion with Rhea, his wife for 15 years. But he is instantaneously aroused with Uma, his secretary. It is not that his wife is not attractive. She is better endowed than his secretary, caring, affectionate and a devoted homemaker. Yet in the bedroom it is a damp squibb.
Why is it that many men in the late 30s or those in the threshold of 40s who are super studs with others’ wives cut a sorry figure in their own bedrooms with their own wives?
The answer is simple. It is monotony. Sex with the wife is considered a chore to dispense with, without any innovation. The same posture, the same place, the same time, the same way, night after night, year after year! It is akin to having the same type of food for dinner every night, however good the dish may be. Masters and Johnson, the famous sexologists call this Sexual Boredom.
Alfred Kinsey, the legendary Sexologist and his colleagues termed this phenomenon Psychological fatigue, meaning over period of time, owing to continuous repetition of any experience, there is lesser and lesser psychological stimulation from the same. This is so mainly due to lack of change or novelty.
So how does one overcome sexual boredom? Is having multiple partners the only solution?
Turning to sensuality, with a dash of sensitivity would open an entire corridor of possibilities.
When we think of sex, all that we think of is our genitals as our sex organs. But there is one unexplored, uncharted territory which we have failed to give its due — the skin.
Vatsyayana the pioneer of the Kamasutra, laid thick stress on various foreplay techniques. According to him, Kama is the enjoyment of the appropriate objects with the help of the five senses.
Let us integrate sensuality into sexuality. The change and variety should come into sexuality and not in partners. Be open to and welcome experimentation. Be receptive to variety, both to give and take. Try different postures, unusual positions for intercourse, diversity in time, place or types of sexual activity. Try during any suitable time of the day, when you feel refreshed and relaxed. Take off to a resort or a farmhouse and try and find a deserted private beach. The sky is virtually the limit.
Satin sheets, lacy lingerie, scented candles, soft romantic music, closedancing, sharing a succulent meal etc… definitely add a zing. Discover partner’s erogenous zones. You will in the process discover a new person in your partner, who will appreciate your willingness to work on giving pleasure, and in turn will switch on her/his fertile mind and reward you with a new vista of gratification.